2007 in Retrospect

December 31st. Where on earth has this year gone? I am still looking for my summer and here it is, end of the year. It has been a very busy year.. lots of roller coaster rides, literally and figuratively. There have been moments of joy and moments of great sadness. Our daughter had 2 miscarriages and our son in law very nearly lost his life. It was a very hair raising experience.

Our one son and his wife bought their first home in Lethbridge Alberta and we got to go visit them just shortly after they moved. One of our other sons and his family have moved to a new house only a 10 minute walk from our house. I started watching their 3 year old daughter in September and that has been a wonderful blessing! Our oldest son has a new love in his life and we are so thrilled for him! No one deserves to be alone so much. We got to go to Whistler with our daughter's family for an extended long weekend in May and of course everyone knows that is about my favorite place in the world!

We had a family camp this summer! We took our 3 year old granddaughter with us for the first time for the whole week and she was just thrilled as she and her cousin pushed their dollies around in their strollers all day long in the sand dunes (well sand dunes to little arms trying to push plastic wheeled strollers).

Our son Kim and his family came out in August for a week for a family wedding so got to spend some time with them and the grandchildren and that is always a good thing.We had Thanksgiving dinner at our youngest son's home this year for the first time. He was very excited to host his first official family dinner with most of the family there. It was weird though to sit there and not have done any cooking!

I got a new calling in November.. Director of the Stake Family History Centre. Completely took me off guard! I don't know what surprised me the most.. that someone thought I was that capable of doing the job or that I had said yes to it! But I love family history. I am very passionate about it and anything that helps me do that can only be deemed a bonus!

We just came back from 8 days of Christmas vacation in Alberta and that was very wonderful! We have only been there once before for Christmas and again that was weird being on the receiving end of a dinner that someone else labored so lovingly over. I was a 2 year old granddaughter's only thing on her Christmas wish list and how much more perfect of a life is that?

I got to spend a couple of weeks with my mom at her home this summer. What a treat that was! I have never done that. Being alone with her I mean. I have always at least had Keith with me or the kids etc. It was just mother and child/woman to woman/friend to friend and I left there a better person for it.

What have I learned over the past year? That nothing and I mean NOTHING can take the place of family. Although ours can be a tad dysfunctional at times (and I say that quite lovingly of course) we are a strong family. Nothing comes between any of us. We are there for each other in time of need no matter what that need is.

I have learned my faith is stronger then ever. My faith in God. My faith in mankind. My faith in others doing the right thing for the right reason. My spirituality has grown and that is a wonderful thing. My life has been richly blessed being able to share it with Keith by my side. I could not in a million years have found a better soul mate, a help mate, then he. He has unconditional loved me literally through thick and thin as I have struggled with my health and pain.

I have learned that if you have love in your life you can overcome all obstacles and mountains that can seem to be unsurmountable at times. I believe that God has a greater power then I do and that I need to turn my life to Him. When my dad was alive and going to AA I had done a needlepoint for him that had the Serenity Prayer on it and I still to this day believe in it!!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

What do I want in my life this coming year? Sleepovers with my grandchildren; hugs from my children; I love you's from my family and friends; more time with my brothers; visits out here from ANYBODY in our extended family; walks with my daughter; phone calls that are for no reason other then just because; closer relationships with my daughters/son in laws; continued friendships with my "almost sisters"; to finish my history book on my father's family line and lastly I wish for a peaceful year in our family, a year of renewed love with God for all our children and to be able to do it all with Keith, my children and grandchildren by my side with their love and arms around me.

Happy New Year Everyone!

What have you done today?

I heard this song the first time about 4 years ago and it became my "mentor" so to speak. I listened to it every day on my walks, when I was cleaning house, anything... I listened to it over and over again. It was what got me going to lose my weight, it was what got me through the rough periods as I came back to my faith after a period of idiocy and right now it has become my sidekick once again. If I knew how to post an actual song I would do that. If someone knows how please feel free to let me know and I will post it again as you lose the concept just reading the words but read anyway... :-)

"Proud" by Heather Small

I look into the window of my mind Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Still so many answers I don't know Realise that to question is how we grow
So I step out of the ordinary I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way Can't stop me now
And you can do the same What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

We need a change Do it today
I can feel my spirit rising We need a change
So do it today 'Cause I can see a clear horizon

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
'Cause you could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today
You could be so many people?
Just make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

Yep, you can call me an idealist, a dreamer and a sentimental fool. But hey, if I wasn't that, I wouldn't be such a Polyanna as my mom used to call me, probably... Now off you go, and do something good in this world while I am on holidays :)...

OOOPs

I forgot to add our Christmas preparation pictures in my last post.

Christmas Past

I haven't posted for a couple of weeks which isn't like me. I talk to much to not be posting on here but I have been writing in my regular journal so have no fear! I have just been dealing with demons and that is taking a lot out of me. We had our family Christmas dinner last Friday and we had decided this year to host it in the common room where we live.. way MORE space (which when you count how many people are here its a good thing=). At least in theory. There was more room. There was a pool table, sitting area for the kids to play their WII game, couches for moms to sit and visit and then of course huge tables to sit down. We actually for the first time ever in years all sat down at the BIG PEOPLE table.. everyone.. even the children.. they felt so grown up it was very cute,

But the downside was we had to be out at midnight which was ok as I was tired but we hadn't eaten till 8 and by the time we finished that and then opened presents it was getting close to the witching hour. After spending all day hauling things up a long flight of stairs I was dreading packing it all up to get it all home. Everyone did their part but Keith was still vaccuming at 1:30 am. I told him when we walked back into our place that we had to figure something else out as when we walked in the front door we were met with boxes and more boxes of things. Everything had been dropped in our front hall. GROAN

I made Keith go to bed as he had also been working at his job all day so was very tired. I put all the food away thinking I'll clean up the rest when I got up. But when Keith got up and started putting things away he came across a box that held the ham, mashed potatoes, all the salads I had worked so hard out, all the cheeses etc.... all gone cause they had been left out. I was so mad when I woke up!!! I sat down with Keith and said we need to figure some other way of having Christmas dinner with our children and grandchildren as this is NOT working for me. I worked very hard for days before making special dishes and decorating and it is just physically draining on me. I spent the next 3 days before I truly was able to climb into the shower by myself and get dressed. I just can't do that anymore. So I have a year to figure it out.

One of the things that has made me think these last couple of weeks have been our Christmases of past. I thought of our first Christmas where Keith had gotten laid off 2 days before Christmas. He said that we had to use his last cheque to pay our tithing to the Lord and he would provide. I was brand new in this new church and thought no way Heavenly Father would let our children go without Christmas but Keith was adamant. so He hurried the next morning to go drop off a cheque with the Bishop and then one to our mortgage company leaving with nothing to buy gifts with for our children.. I was heartbroken but the next day Christmas Eve I got a call from the school saying that every year they collect hampers for Christmas and then distribute them to needy families. They felt because we had 5 small children under the age of 6 and that our 2 5 year olds and our 6 year old went there that we might need things. I said YSSS!!! Are you kidding me?At this point pride goes out the window!. I mean what was I going to say? SO I told them after 1 would be good as they would all be down for naps by then. We literally filled our bedromm from top to bottom with things and the kitchen was wall to wall with boxes of food. I sat down and bawled my eyes out as I realized the true meaning of tithing. It wasn't just doing it when things were easy but rather when you should. We had been so blessed that very first Christmas together I will never forget that nor ever forget the importance of tithing ever again. It brought me literally in tears on my knees asking for forgiveness for my lack of faith that He would provide for us if we but did as we needed to. And He did. The children had a wonderful Christmas. I tried looking for a picture of all the gifts wrapped under the tree but couldn't find it. So instead I will post the ones of the children for our first Christmas and our tree this year. Keith always asks for a tree that has matching ornaments or all one color but I tell him we have a memory tree. Every ornament has a story behind it, the children have made them our grandchildren have made them . Each child and grandchild and their spouses have their own decoration that goes on. You can't have a perfect tree when you have a memory tree and that is why we celebrate Christmas. To remember whose birthday it really was and to celebrate his birth. Being together to do that is the greatest gift of all and I am truly blessed to have a family that loves me, grandchildren who call me Barbie pretty, and a husband who unconditionally loves me. What more could a girl ask for?

I went through our Christmas box that holds those pictures and came across a couple I was looking for. They were 2 that had been taken when we were still living on our own with our kids. It was so bizarre as we had taken the pictures at the same mall with the same Santa on the same day literally minutes apart as the numbers on the pictures are three apart! Then we have a picture of our first Santa picture as a new family. Do not ask me why I allowed my daughter out of the house wearing a pink shirt and summer polka dotted green skirt but she was very adamant about her choices of clothes. Ok but don't sit near me hehhe just kidding Lareta... I still love you!So you go from those very first family pictures and then one of them all grown up with their families and I look in awe as I see that Heaven;ly Father has truly sent me the very best family one could ever ask for.

This year we leave in 2 days to go to our one son's home for Christmas with them and I am like a kid in a candy store waiting to see them again. I miss them terribly and it will even be worse next year as we are determined not to spend a single penny that is not absolutely crucial so that next Feb 2009 we are planning a huge family trip to Hawaii with all the kids and grandkids with us. So we'll be saving every cent available to us which means no traveling anywhere or eating out or shopping needlessly. That is going to be tough!! Sorry Lareta! :( No more lunches out at Hearty Boys/ They are going to miss our smiling faces!!

It will be a hard Christmas...We have to go through some family things and it's important for me this year to "please everyone", make sure everyone is happy. I was up till after 4AM today and then got up 3 hours later so I am very tired. I have to be downtown Vancouver today and I am not looking forward to doing that in the pouring rain. I hurt and I am tired. I was working on the staff scheduling till 4 this morning and still found mistakes before I went to bed and now have to fill holes once again. Back to the drawing board :( Breathe in Breathe Out!

So as I close this probably last post before we leave I would like to wish those who post with me a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! And to those of you who just read I wish you as well a great Merry Christmas.. May next year be the year you share your thoughts with me :) Take care, be safe, and I sincerely wish for all of you to know the true meaning of Christmas!

Buh Humbug

Here I sit wondering why on earth I can't get into the Christmas spirit. I am just going through the motions and yet don't feel it inside. Our tree is up, most of my baking is done. But Keith is totally wrapped up with a huge project at work so hasn't had the time to put up the outside lights (I physically am not able to otherwise I just would do it myself), my angel that goes on top of the tree is still sitting on the dining room table as he has been too swamped to work on it to see what's wrong. He bought me that angel for our 1st Christmas together so it is 19 years old and it means a lot to me to have it ON our tree working.

We are having our family Christmas dinner this Friday as we leave next week for Alberta to be with our one son and his family so our dinner is 10 days early. The rest of our family aren't very happy with the situation as it means no dinner with family on the 25th. We haven't figured out what we are going to do with our stockings either as Santa always fills them and if we have them for the kids on the 14th then how did Santa fill them so we might just wait till we get back and have them open them there saying Santa came here while we were gone.

The littlest thing is such a struggle these days. I am over tired. My physio is not helping and I no longer can do it first thing in the morning before I got out of bed otherwise I could NOT get out of bed and that is just not acceptable.It just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. I haven't watched a single video that we normally watch like The Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life, the radios aren't even on to listen to music.

To top it off, Sudafed no longer manufactures the allergy medication that I have been taking for years. The pharmacist finally explained why I have not been able to locate it anywhere. They said it had been substituted for a different formula and it would work the same. Guess What? It does not. Thanks alot to you drug dealers and addicts out there that misused something that help the rest of us. Because of you now I have to go without and suffer with allergy induced migraines.

Could I possibly sound any crankier? I am just so sick and tired of being sick and tired. Literally.

Beginning of Christmas Season

Yesterday our daughter and I went out and got some supplies to make a Christmas wreath. We both have had ours for years and we thought we could easily do one as nice as what was in the stores for qa fraction of course. And technically had we just gotten exactly what we needed for just 2 wreaths we would have been fine. But of course never having made one before we bought WAY TOO MUCH stuff ending up with enough to do half a dozen wreaths. Plus add in the gas driving around looking for one store, lunch out, all the extras we bought in the store that was second only to literally heaven to scrapbookers we would have been fine. As it was we spent enough have gone away overnight at a hotel hehehe. But it was all worth it!

Physio

So yesterday was my first visit with the physiotherapist. Did not go actually as she had planned. She had me stand straight up against a wall with my back and feet touching the wall as well. She checked my spine and said that normal people will actually have their back curving inwards to their belly button but mine curved towards the back. She could not even get a hand there. so she did some exercises to try and get me to do that. nOpe not going to work. So she had been stand in front of her to watch me walk back and forth. She said I had terrible posture. No ya think?? I am in constant pain because I can't walk properly or lay down yadda yadda yadda yes my postures is going to be bad, DUH!

then she tried to press her fingertips along the spine to feel the vertebrates and I told her to NOT touch the lumbar and sacral ones please. She was going along and then made the mistake of touching the ware. Down I went right on my face, I thought I was going to pass out. They had to come in and lay me down as I wasn't sure if I was going to throw up or pass out I got so sick from the pain.

She finally was able with some help, come to a conclusion that are my muscles around my spine and leg/pelvic joints are not applicable in this case. They are just sitting there looking pretty. So she gaveme some ultrasound for abit to try adn elliviate the pain as she did not want me to leabve while I was like that but I said that's ok trust me i live like this every day.

I used to beg for one day just one day of ppain free day but now months later I just pray for one hour pain free. Life would be so simpler,So here it is 1am and have been out of bed for my morning routine of pacing the floor around around around my house so I don;t have to sit down. And my mission tomorrow is to locate Clippers Street Store if it kills me. I Have driven in that supposedly area for a year now so really am hoping to find it.

That of course along with Montanas Waffle dessert!! No kidlets tomorrow. Dearest Uncle Curt will be watching the girls so it will be kid free day and jus ta mother daughter day to do soome Christmas shopping. I have my purse packled with all my drugs and I am going to SHOP till I drop. We both want to maek our very own front door wreaths tomorrow and make some "Carm Balls" :)

Now I just have to figure out how to do thi swhen I can't even figure howe to go to bed LOL

But I have yet to lose my sense of humour lol

Short and Sweet

Life would be so good if we could freeze moments in time.. a time when we were the happiest but we can't. So we find ourselves retracing our footsteps. We strive to remember our connections even as time wipes our slates clean. And we strive to make new connections that we hoe time will indulge. When communications fail, words remain behind, proof that we were here.. that someone cared. In the end our past may be all that we have and all that we leave behind.

I have been working on some projects here for gifts and for some classes I have been teaching. I don't have a "crafty" bone in my body, that was my sister Adele's talent, but I like doing it even if they do tend to come out a tad lop-sided at times. But what the heck...at least I can say they are one of a kind and unique hehehe. So here are a couple of pictures of my new front door wreath that I made a couple of weeks ago as well as photo albums that you make with card stock and scrapbooking papers. This class I taught on Saturday as well as one on one plus making them for presents. Now if only I could learn how to take pictures!!

OOOPS I just noticed the closeuup of the wreath picture.. I guess I know what I will be doing with my front door in the spring!!

The album folds into a 6 1'2" square then you open it into an accordion type album.

The Shopping Network Channel

I want to officially go on record to say that a person should never EVER watch the Shopping Channel in the middle of the night when they can't sleep. Ever. I was up earlier this morning or is still considered night if it is 3 am, and was flipping channels when I accidentally hit #17. I rarely watch that channel as I don't get hooked into buying things online or from the TV. That's Keith's job. He gets sucked in by telemarketers all the time. But not me. Till a little while ago. I don't know if it was just because I had just taught a class of about 30 women how to do scrapbooked photo albums on the weekend or the presenter was very animated but I was mesmerized!!!

Now I have more supplies, paper and cardstock then Micheal's I am sure but I didn't have what was on my TV. And when you have a 50" TV that's a whole LOT Of cool looking stuff that was dangled in front of my eyes. I actually was pretty good about not getting it till they said "And now for ONE minute only if you order now you can make TWO payments of..." groannnnn.. I was a goner!

SO I guess today I have to do some work in here while I am still on the search of my birth certificate to make room for my new stuff. I think I need to lock that channel up.

Countdown to Christmas

Is it time yet???

13 more big sleeps till we take the grandchildren to go chop down our Christmas tree

34 more big sleeps till we get to Alberta to be with our son and his family

38 more big sleeps before the BIG DAY

Back to Nature

I really hate these waking up at 4:30 days. I don't know what gives or why this happens so much but it sure makes for extremely long days. I was watching a news story yesterday and sorry but I forgot already what show it was but they had a health section on it where they were discussing the chemicals we use to clean our house. Then they went on to say the illnesses we suffer and our children suffer can originate from these chemicals.

Now I have a sensitivity to smells. If I walk past a place that is tarring a roof it means a migraine in literally seconds. Mold does the same thing. Because of the rain in our neck of the woods and window frames that aren't the best, we get a lot of moisture buildup on the windows and sills. If I don't wipe these down every day mold forms. Our bedroom is the worst as I have to keep the blinds shut as it is near the main entrance to the building and having people looking into our window does not thrill me. So at times I forget to wipe that window down. Then what happens is I go to wake up in the morning and my face feels like it met with a brick wall. It reminds me of the window. Keith then has to spray Tilex on there but I can't even be in the house for hours after he uses it as it makes me so sick.

Ok I am rambling.. sorry... so when I was watching this show it made me think of the mold and the Tilex and the bleach I use etc etc and it also made me think of my grandchildren that are always here. So I decided to make a conscious effort to go back to using natural products to clean. So I will be off to the library when it opens to see what I can find for books of switching over.

I remember growing up our cleaning products consisted of comet and pine sol. Period. Vinegar and water were used to wash windows, baking soda for sinks and counters. The Comet was for the toilets. One father 4 brothers enough said! I don't know how successful it will be but I shall keep you all posted. Although in my defense I don't know how I will live without my Mr. Clean wipes and Vim spray!!!

Middle of the night rantings

My brain just will not stop talking tonight so finally got up and decided to answer a bunch of emails that were sitting in my inbox. Then I decided in honour of the fall season I would change the look of my blog to reflect the fall colors. I hate fall.. at least out here. The colors are a rainbow of oranges, vivid reds, many shades of green, yellows and browns. It is absolutely gorgeous as we watch the trees change color. But with fall comes the rain and with that comes pain. Hey that rhymes!!

So I changed the colors on my blog. I can't change Mother Nature although I do try but I can at least show my respect by doing the colors. What do you all think? Yes you I am talking to you lurkers that tell me you always read it hehehe. Thought I couldn't see through my magic screen huh?

Me and Celine

I am soooo excited!!! I just found out tonight that Celine Dion is coming to Vancouver in Oct next year!! I am absolutely thrilled like you can not even imagine. Celine and I are best buds and have been forever! Well..........ok this best buds is only for real in my imagination but I have a very vivid imagination and for me if my mind can percieve then I can achieve. Right?

Tickets go on sale this coming Friday and when I was yelling at Keith through the house she was coming he asked how much the tickets were I said I have no idea but that I was going. He reminded me that we had agreed we would not do any large purchases as we are saving madly for our big trip taking our children and grandchildren to Hawaii and I said..oh sure rain on my parade why don't you! He said well Sally you have to decide where your priority is. So I smiled and said with you!! And supporting you while you work an extra couple of shifts of OT heheheh Then I ran!

Doors... Windows... Families

I think we all have heard that saying "when one door closes a window opens"? Or something to that effect anyway.. well that is what has happened in my life in the last 3 days. Doors closing, windows opening, no one telling me the screens were still in the windows and through this all I have smiled I have cried but mostly have just been shaking my head all weekend.

First the good news... I was checking my mail and there was one by someone I did not recognize the name and almost deleted it till I noticed a familiar name in the subject box. Here was a cousin of my mom's who had found me through a family web site that someone in that line had done. I had gotten the website admins' name from another cousin of my mom's that I had been speaking to since early summer. We had been exchanging family information on that line.

So that was 2 new cousins I had never spoken to before this summer.. add the new one on the weekend and now we have 3.. count them ONE TWO THREE!! I was squealing so loud that Keith came running in the room to see what was wrong and then just snorts when I told him and he just left the room as if to say ok when will I learn not to come running when Sally squeals while on the computer!

I sat here and read and reread the email I don't know how many times. She had even sent pictures so I had to check all my cousins out (Nice to know good looks runs in the same family hehehe). I had tears coming down my cheeks I was so thrilled. Whoever said the internet was an evil thing obviously was not here on Saturday. It was a great thing.. the window part of the closed door part of my weekend. I had already posted that I had missed out on my trip to Seattle because I had misplaced my birth certificate which I still have not found by the way.

But as great as that has been for me, there was still one more window that opened after a door closed this weekend. I got a call last week to come in for a meeting. I volunteer part time at the family history centre helping others with their genealogy. Funny how I can so easily help others plow through their brick walls but that one of mine, Marie Louise Cloure, sure refuses to budge. Anyway, I was asked to become the new Director of the Family History Centre. Are you kidding me? The first thing out of my mouth was "I don't think my feet are big enough to fill her shoes" which is funny ironic as I wear a size 11 shoe but he just looked at me and said we are not expecting you to fill her shoes we expect you to wear your own shoes.

Today in a meeting of hundreds of people the other Director stood as she was released from her calling and I was asked to stand as I was introduced as the new Director. She was about 15 or so rows ahead of me but she turned around when my name was called and I blew her a big kiss which she returned. People must have thought we were weird. Well we are what can I say? At times in life as women (at least in my little mind) we have what I call "almost sisters". These are women that for some reason are instantly bonded to you in life even from the very first moment that you meet. Something just clicks right. She clicked right with me right from the first day we met.

After the meeting I went and found her and we hugged. All weekend I have been shaking my head thinking how the heck am I going to do this. There are others that work there that have been there for years.. why not call them to do this work? I talk too much, I ask too many questions, I am too much of a perfectionist, I step on toes at times.. why me? I guess God has His reasons. I got an email from another of my almost sister Carmen and she put things into perspective which she always does.

So I didn't get to go to Seattle, I lost the folder that held not only my birth certificate but also the baby pictures of my 12 grandchildren (get it? birth certificate... birth pictures? I know I know I am weird), but I found a new cousin, a new job and an almost sister. What more could a woman ask for these days?

Consequences and Actions

Our children were raised on the premise that there are always consequences to your actions. Sometimes they are good other times not so good. My last entry showed some pictures of my incredibly disorganized office. I am not like that. I like knowing where everything is and where I can put my fingers on something at any given moment. It was driving me crazy working in here but I had too many things on the go to stop and put things away as I was working. Wrong.

I literally spent the last 24 hours searching the entire house for my birth certificate. I did not go to bed or sleep at all last night as I tore through the rooms. Even had Keith lift the washer and dryer up at 5:30 this morning in case by some strange coincidence it had fallen behind either of them although why that would have happened I do not know. But nothing.

I had planned on going to Seattle with 2 other women this weekend to attend a large family history seminar this weekend. We had agreed to go on the Friday night and share the cost of a hotel room and then did not have to worry about the border line up Saturday morning. Now I feel like I let them down.

I have cleaned my office to where it should have been but never found the card. I tried calling that office asking how I go about getting a replacement one this morning and they laughed and said to try again. I have to apply in writing and it will take a minimum 2 weeks for it to come from Victoria.

I am sad right now.. really sad. Keith at one point when I called him for the hundredth time this morning, said maybe there was a reason why I was not to go. I hate it when he uses that logic on me :( The way I looked at it, if I wanted something bad enough I must have needed it. One of the classes I had registered for was on the new program Legacy!! I absolutely have fallen in love with the graphics on it. We have the deluxe version of it at our family history centre so I wanted to take a class on how to maneuver through it. And with the exchange rate of course was planning on SHOPPING!

Oh well I guess those are the consequences of my actions. I also guess you are never too old to practice what you preach to your children!

End of Projects

I finally completed 3 projects I had on the go for the last month and a bit and I am so happy. Even though they were projects I REALLY enjoyed doing, it still took a lot of time in preparation (yeah I know that OCD perfectionism thing again). Because I had different ones on the go I never seemed to get one completely done before I started another one as they were all running concurrent. This morning I came into my office to clean up, took one look at all the stuff NOT in their proper place, took some pictures to post on here and I am going to back out of the room very quietly, close the door and go find something chocolate to eat!

Family Families and more Familiest stuff

This is my paternal grandparents Benoit and Amanda Cloutier. This was taken at their 25th anniversary
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These are my maternal grandparents Albert and Clara Provencal. My mother is at the back row 2nd from the right.

This was taken July 1989 the weekend we moved to BC. It was a reunion for my dad's side of the family. The next year he died.

This is my maternal grandmother's family reunion in the summer of 1987. I had missed this one as Keith had just gotten off a 9 month strike and we could barely put food on the table even with 2 jobs each.


THis was the beginning of our new family. A culmination of all the hard work in the pictures above. THAT is what I am going to pass down to my descendants. Now I know had my dear freind Carm would see what is passing off as scrapbppked pages she would be screaming into the sunset!!!! lol

This has to be by far the MOST hectic and emotional, mental and spiritual roller coaster I have ever been on in regards to anything with my family. It started on the wrong foot a couple of weeks ago when I went to set the VCR to tape something I wasn't going to be home to watch and so I pop the tape in. As I am setting the VCR, my brain catches up with my eyeballs at what I saw on the tape and ejected it. When I have blank tapes I mark them blank and use them for day to day taping of things. Anything that needs to be saved gets a locked tab and is clearly marked. Well this was clearly marked "Christmas 1997" and "Summer 2000". Now anyone that knows me knows how much my videos of my family get together means to me. Especially the summer of 2000 as the was the summer after my sister died and ALL of us siblings AND all of our children went home to mom's to recuperate. I was so hoping that I had just grabbed it by error and there was nothing on it but family but no such luck. It was all gone :(

I have been working on going through this large box of pictures I got from my mom and that has hit me so hard. Pictures of family get together at my grandparents farm with all my family, all the memories made it hard to keep emotions in check knowing there would be no more going back to either of my grandparents farms as all of them have died.

Every picture had a memory and I could only work on a few at a time scanning them as it was too much sensory overload. She also had given me another box of negatives so took those in to be developed. One batch was from a family reunion in 1989 of my Dad's family and to celebrate his mom's 80th birthday! We weren't there as it was the same weekend we were moving to BC. So that was hard to deal with.

I have been working on personal history last couple of weeks working on our family story for the book I want to write. Writing down every memory I have ever had of my ancestors, every story I was ever told. I remember sitting at my grandmothers table having tea as they told stories of the "good old days"

I have been using the month of October as Family History Month which it has been and I have been using a different theme each week and doing a big display for it. My camera isn't very good but I will post some pictures of the display. This week is the final week and I am going to show how writing your history isn't just about writing in your journal "Tuesday 8:15 I swept and washed the kitchen floor again". It's about bridging the history from your ancestors to your descendants.

I have to teach in Relief Society as well as my regular family history class on Sunday and I have been struggling with my projects. Not that the projects are difficult to do. The opposite. When I'm busy doing that it takes my mind off my pain lemels and what I CAN'T do. But it brought up huge amounts of emotions.. things I had forgotten about, things I did not want to every remember and things I will never again be a part of. For someone whose whole life is family oriented it has been a rough last 2 weeks.

Dreams, men and too much TV

If you remember about a month or so ago I posted that I had dreamt that I was living with Gene Simmons (from the rock band KISS) and his family. It was just a normal every day routine kind of dream of doing normal family things, dinner, driving kids back and forth to school and lessons etc. I woke up thinking what the heck?? Of all men to dream about he wouldn't have made my top ten list. It couldn't get any weirder then that.

Or so I thought. I had a very hard time going to sleep last night. My right leg was still throbbing from my fall and at 3 I finally took some painkillers and went back to bed. Somewhere between then and 5:30 when Keith's alarm went off, I dreamt I now was living with Mike Holmes off the HGTV show Holmes on Homes. Not just me of course. Keith was there as well. That show is by far my favorite reno show but Keith can't watch an entire episode without complaining about something, that he didn't do this or he didn't do that. I keep telling him the show is only an hour long and most of the show's boring points are on the cutting room floor. Realistically he only goes on and on about the show because he is SO ALIKE to Mike Holmes in real life. He absolutely hates going in after a supposedly expert to fix their errors.

In my dream Keith and Mike were in a reno contest fixing a house we were building. Well actually it wasn't our house they were just fixing up a big mess and whoever did the best repairs got to live in it. Our daughter was the judge to boot LOL They tied for first place and we all got to live in the house as one big happy family! I do have to say though... there wouldn't be an earthquake, tornado, flood or anything remotely disasterous that could have blown that house to the ground. It was solid!!

I either watch way too much HGTV and A&E or am too bored to be dreaming like this. I wonder who is next on my dream roster???I wonder if I can put in requests?

I forgot I wasn't young anymore

So tonight I did a very stupid thing although in my defense I didn't know I was doing it till I was actually doing it. I fell. Plain and simple I fell. I had just parked the Jeep in a stall and stepped out. I guess I was really close to the tree curb that when I climbed out I stepped on the landscaped area inside the curb. It was pitch dark outside and full rain. I started walking away the same time I slammed the door (I know I know Keith.. stop slamming the door) but it made a "thud" noise instead of a clang kind of like when a seat belt gets caught in the door. So I just twisted to look over my shoulder but the door was shut all the day so kept going. Needless to say with my face looking OVER my shoulder instead of in front of me, I went to take a step and all of a sudden there was no ground beneath me. Before I even knew what happened I did a half horizontal somersault with a quarter horizontal turn. And this all before I finished butt first in a 6" water puddle next to a drain that was blocked with leaves hence the 6" of water.

I managed to hobble up on my feet then realized my right ankle had been twisted. Great!! I also had landed full weight on my right leg joint. All week I have been in pain with that exact joint. Not going to help matters any. I went in the store as I called Keith to let him know I would be late getting home. He asked me if I wanted him to come get me. I had to smile. We have one vehicle and I had just parked it. But you had to give him kudos!!

I used to be able to do that exact "spill" the 4 years I was a cheerleader.. minus the butt landing and never missed not once. Now I know I am not 15 anymore. My body can't bend and twist at will. Well I guess it can... just a lot more consequences now. So after getting home and checking things out I can say that nothing is broken, my left palm and right knee are scraped. I am going to have a wonderful checkerboard on my right thigh and butt tomorrow and my ankle hurts. But all in all I think I did a remarkable job at recovery for a 51 year old Mum of 5 and Nana of 12.

The irony of it all? I was in the parking lot of the pharmacy to get a prescription filled for painkillers :-D

CHOCOLATE

We as in Keith and I were at Costco the other day and of course we end up picking a day where there are food tasting at every corner. I usually am quite immune to trying anything as it usually is calorie ridden and I just don't go there. But we came around a corner and they were displaying cookies.. shortbread cookies dipped different ways in chocolate.

I walked away and did about 3 more aisles all the while listening to that dang chocolate shortbread screaming my name. So fine.. I'm weak what can I say.. I go back and have some. It was after all only HALF a cookie. Keith had already had at least 3. He can sweet talk (No pun intended) anyone into anything. I take one bite of it and nearly gagged. Actually I must have out loud cause the person in front of me turned to look at me. I turned to Keith and opened my mouth as if to spit it out and realized I had nothing to spit into. Now had it been one of my grandkids doing that I would have just stuck my bare hand out and took what was coming out of their mouth.

But no such luck with Keith so I swallowed it. OH MY GOSH!! It was vile it was by far the MOST horrid tasting thing I had ever tasted!!! Keith of course by this time is nearly wetting his pants he thinks it is so funny. Then I guess he realized by the look on my face he had better stop laughing that very second and stopped cold turkey. I looked at him and very quietly said " Why did you let me go eat that knowing full well that was dark truffle chocolate on that cookie?"

He replied "chocolate is chocolate what's the difference .. you like chocolate". So I had to spend the rest of our shopping expedition explaining to him the differences in chocolate. I like chocolate bars, I like milk chocolate, I like white chocolate, I like hot chocolate on cold days, I like hot fudge sauce. I do NOT like dark chocolate, I do not like chocolate cake, I do not like chocolate milk or shake, I do not like chocolate icing and most of all I HATE absolutely HATE truffle chocolate. By the end of this conversation we had reached the checkout and he just looked at me and said " You give me a headache. How am I supposed to remember all that"?

Men!! I mean really!! How hard is it to remember different kinds of chocolate. If they can remember the sizes of all their screwdrivers and bits why can't they remember facts about chocolate?

Bedding Dilemma

Every morning I go through the same problem. I try and fit the sheets on the mattress. What you ask? Why not get sheets that fit my mattress? Well easier said then done. See.... we have a queen size bed that is barely a year old. The mattress has a 4" pillow top. So get sheets that have deep pockets.. yup been there done that check my linen closet if you do not believe me.

The problem is on top of the mattress I have a 3" memory foam mattress. So last week while I was out with Lareta we were talking about it and thought hey why not get king size sheets and that will fit perfectly!! Well so it fit perfectly in my mind. The elastic on the bottom fitted sheet goes all the way down to cover the sides of the mattress.. yeahhh...but there is too much fabric on the top and I have to wake Keith up at least once a night to help straighten out the sheet as there are wrinkles in them. Many nights I think of that fairy tale the Princess and the Pea and I empathize with her. When my spine is hurting or my muscles aching from the FM flareups, every little wrinkle feels like steel bars.

Sigh back to the drawing board......I am definitely open for suggestions.

Conersion Story

My husband and I were in the middle of painting the inside of our home (not an easy feat with 5 children under the age of 5) 29 years ago when we get a phone call on a Thursday evening. My husband got off the phone to say that 2 young men from some church wanted to come over and give us a message. I said are you kidding? Did you not tell them we are in the middle of painting? He replied that he had and they had said that was fine and they would be over after dinner the following night.

I forgot all about it till the doorbell rang. In enters these 2 young men neatly dressed in suits and I’m thinking oh please do not touch any walls or let the children near you!! We had a clean sheet on the couch to save it from paint and they sat down. Our children were clamoring all over them especially when one of them started doing magic tricks. Kids were hooked. I kept waiting for “this message” but none came. After about an hour visit they said they had to go but was there anything they could help us with. Keith jokingly said well we are about to start the living room in the morning and they said they would be over to help and what time. He replied 6 and they said they would be here. I thought yeah right.

But bright and early they were at our door. I offered them breakfast which they gratefully accepted although they declined the coffee. All day they painted alongside Keith. We had lunch and still no message. One of our neighbors was moving and Keith had told her he would help her load their truck so he and the Elders went and helped. By the time they got back dinner was ready and they stayed. I figured it was the least I could do after all they had done. They ate and then left saying they had an appointment. All evening we kept talking about how we still had not gotten our message.

The next evening they came back and said could they come by the following night to give us our message. By this time I knew it was a “sales” pitch and did not want to be a part of it. But of course Keith said yes and so the next night they came back.

They asked us what we knew about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and we both drew blanks. They asked what we knew about the Mormon Church. I said well I watch the Donny and Marie show and I knew they have more then one wife. They chuckled at that and said no men and women practice monogamy.


They went on to talk in general terms about the church, about families and about being eternal. Right out of the blue Keith looks at them and says “I’m ready”. They said ready about what? He said “to be baptized, isn’t this what this is all about?” I am madly making faces at him trying to get his attention but he was choosing to ignore me. The Elders said well yes of course but we have to go through a series of lessons before that can happen. Keith told them that they had better hurry up as he was ready.

He had heard the phrase eternal family and that was it in his mind. So they taught us the first discussion that evening. Well actually they taught Keith. I was too busy fuming in my head that he had committed us to something without talking to me. After they left with a promise to come back the next night, Keith turned and saw my face. Sometimes Kodak moments tend to happen without the benefit of a camera nearby. He just looked at me and said “What?”

I asked him why he would say yes without checking with me. He replied that we had been going from one church to another church every week or so trying to find one for us. But we kept hitting wrong ones and here was one that talked about eternal families which was what we had wanted. That was completely beside the point. He had not talked it over with me.

Over the next week, I found excuses not to be in the room for the lessons or else I would say I had to check on the children or I was there in body only and in my head I was doing grocery lists. Keith would ask me why I was so unresponsive (usually I never stop talking) and I flat out told him that this was not a Sunday church that this was a 24/7 church. He asked how I knew this and I said I just feel it is.

The Elders (which by the way I thought it was weird that 2 guys would have the exact first name.. Elder.. what were the odds?) asked us to commit to baptism and we both said yes. The morning of the baptism I told Keith I was not going to do it. He called the Elders at 6 am and told them how I was feeling. By 7am they were at the house. They helped me get the children ready for school. We cleaned up from breakfast and we talked. Not even so much about the gospel we just talked. About why they were on missions, their sacrifices, their families who missed them back home, their upbringings. We read scriptures and just … well just talked. I felt better about the baptism but was still not convinced.

One of the Elders finally looked at me and said Satan has 7 tools he uses when he wants to sway someone to do/not do what he wants. I can’t remember the first 6 but the last tool they said was the tool of discouragement. Satan knows that if he can get someone discouraged about something, he knows they will falter. They finally left after Keith got back from work. We called our parents to tell them what we were about to do. My in-laws were a little disappointed but they felt if it meant it would get Keith to church and be a better person then all the better. I didn’t fare very well. I was basically told if I changed my religion (I was Catholic) I could basically forget to ever go see my parents. That hurt as I was very close to my family.

All the way to the church that night I kept telling Keith I did not want to go through this. I had 5 small children, my hands were full, I just did not need one more thing on my plate at that moment. But we kept driving. We got to the church and Keith went first. The Elder that was going to be baptizing me just had another quiet prayer with me off to the side before we went into the water. I was shaking so bad I had no idea how he would keep me in the water.

He said the baptismal prayer and as he lifted me out of the water I was hit by the brightest light I had ever seen or have yet ever seen. I was completely blinded. I kept hearing a “Are you all right?” in my ear but couldn’t see who was talking to me. Then a feeling of great peace settled literally over my entire body. The whiteness dissipated and I turned to the Elder to say something but he just smiled at me and said “its ok I know”.

I never regretted that moment. I am glad Keith “forced” me into being baptized. Several years later we were sealed in the Cardston temple. Because we were a blended family it took another year to be able to have our children sealed to us. We decided to have them sealed in the SLC temple. We had remained very close with the Elders that had baptized us. Unbeknownst to us, they had gotten in touch with as many missionaries that they could find that had come through our doors in the past 4 or so years. When we walked in the room we expected 2 Elders and their wives. What we saw was literally standing room only of Elders and Sisters and their families. It blew me away. The officiator said that this had been the first time that he had officiated at a sealing where there were so many missionaries there. Usually it is family. We looked at him and said this is our family.

I will be forever grateful for those two young men. We did eventually ask them where they had found us as we had not been tracted out. It had been very very hot that week, hitting the above 45 degree Celsius. It had been just too hot to go door to door so they would go to their phone book, close their eyes and roam with their finger till they felt right and then go to their map on the wall to see if it was in their area. We laugh at that. Very unconventional way of tracting but it had worked for us. But these 2 Elders not only blew all records for member baptisms when they were out but they broke all records on member retention. Any one can baptize people but it’s not every missionary that can teach so well that the members remain faithful. It doesn’t mean we haven’t had our moments when we thought this was too much but we always go back to that 7th tool and remember that Satan almost had us and we straighten up.

When one of our sons was getting married in the Seattle temple, we were gathered in the front just waiting to go in and all of a sudden we see this couple walking towards us. It was one of the Elders and his wife. They had flown all the way in just to be there to support us. Then they flew back home after the ceremony.

That one little baptism that one night gave way to 5 children being baptized, 1 son serving an honorable mission, 2 children sealed for all time and eternity in the temple, 3 children married in the church, and 4 grandchildren baptized with one more on the 28th of this month. It has been a long hard road but one I am so glad I followed.

Seriously ticked off

Well I am spitting nails right now I am so upset!! I just went through 2 completely different issues both dealing with family history and both just boiled my blood. I had taken some books out of the city library a couple of weeks ago. One was really good dealt with how to write your family history book (which I am planning on doing) as well as dealing with brick walls, of which I have many. I dropped my books off and went inside with my granddaughters to do story time. Afterwards I went to check some books out and they told me I had a blocked book. A what? They said I had returned a damaged book. I don't think so. So they showed me and the entire top of the book was very wet from the first page to the last about 1 1/2 inches down. WHAT THE HECK??

I got my book bag out from under the stroller and it is completely dry. I had another book in there that I had been planning on renewing and it was perfectly dry. I said how the heck can that be so wet and everything else I dropped off be dry. He had no answer for me except I had to buy the book. UGHHHHHHHHH

Then I get home still steaming, literally and figuratively as it is very muggy and I was overdressed as it had been cold this morning when I left. I open my mail and there is a letter from France stating that the city that I was inquiring about in my family did not keep church records or any other records other then nobility before 1590 (which is the marriage date of the last ancestor that I have located on my father's paternal line. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Nephi kept records and he was born way before 1590!!! I have about 6 more lines that I am on or about early 1600's and I am going to probably find the same problem. This totally sucks.

I need chocolate.. lots and lots of chocolate.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday!Although it was a very different one. Our youngest son and his wife on my birthday this year gave me the gift of Th'giving dinner at their house so I didn't have to make a thing. They did a great job while I sat at home chewing my nails. I was not used to having someone do the "mom" thing. But they did a phenomenal job. I was having a really bad pain day so was throwing up and ended up just having jello but even that came up so we ended up coming home.

Here are some pictures we took. Something we normally do at our dinners is say what we are thankful for but we forgot yesterday so I would like to post it here

I am thankful for my children for letting me spend as much time with my grandchildren as I do.

I am thankful for my Father in Heaven for giving our son in law's life back this summer.

I am so very thankful for Keith and for ALL that he does for me, the nightly massages, the waking up in the middle of the night to go walking with me to get the "bugs" out of my legs. I am thankful he is so patient with me and my illnesses I never have to say I'm sorry for still being in my pajamas some days when he gets home from work. He loves me unconditionally and I thankful for that.

I am thankful for my new job at the family history centre!! I love being with other people and helping them with their family history problems.

I am thankful for the gospel in my life and for all that it means to me.

I am thankful to be alive.

What are you thankful for?

Little things in life

This week 2 of our granddaughters helped me make cinnamon buns for Papa. They were all about making each one exactly the same as each others and each cut bun had to be perfectly straight on the pan.. but of course they have neither inherited my OCD traits!! OH NO! They got their little chairs out to sit in front of the oven so they could watch them grow and bake. I had set the timer to ring and told them to listen for it but every 10 seconds came a "Nana it's ready!"

Finally the timer goes off. They had been so concentrated on this watching that it startled the pants off them, they cleared right off the chairs and started screaming and running over their chairs. I swear it was right out of an old Abbot and Costello movie. And if you even think of having to ask who is that you are dead meat!

We finally got the buns cooled off enough for them to ice although I am pretty sure more icing got in their mouths. So when it was all done they each sat down and ate one. Which translates into "Nana we're done you have it now". Oh sure now you give it to me when all the icing is gone! What kind of fun do I want a bun with no glaze on it? Anyway we had a good day baking for Papa :)

Fancy way of saying illegitimate child

I have been stuck on one of my family lines for history. It seemed like this insurmountable brick wall (of which I have so many) and I couldn't find out why or a way around. But I am good at digging and our family history centre where I volunteer has some new programs that are free sites for them but paid for at home. So awhile back I decided to search and see if I could find this ancestor and sure enough I finally got a copy of a baptismal certificate yesterday. Now you have to understand that to the French Catholic people, baptismal certificates hold more credence then birth certificate. I had to shake my head after I read it and though no bloody wonder I hit so many brick walls with my ancestors!!! This information was actually written on the certificate.

And I quote (the ancestor's name is Gabriel Lemieux by the way) "This Wednesday, tenth day of April 1630, was baptized the son of Anne Le Cornu, before Jean Le Cornu, her father, said Anne having had carnal relations, on the verbal promise of marrying Thomas Lemieux, now deceased, the infant being named Gabriel by Anne Le Cornu, widow of Jean Le Parent, aunt of said Anne, mother of the child and by Guillaume Baniguot, father of the second wife of said Jean Le Cornu, Godfather."

Then it continues by stating "In his marriage contact August 11, 1658 with Marguerite Leboeuf before notary public Audoart, Gabriel presented himself as the son of Louis Lenieux and Marie Luguan, widow of Pierre Lemieux. This was not the truth. Gabriel also lied about his age in various documents which added to the confusion." End of quote

No... ya think??? What confusion can there possibly be?? Note to self.. on Judgment day remember to ask God if it was so important that we do family history to record our families then why did He have to make it so difficult? I am going to frame this one on my wall cause after this one, all the rest of my work will seem so simple.

Seminar

I just wanted to invite all of you who read this (and yes that includes all you lurkers! You think I can't see you? I am a Nana I can see through everything!) to our 11th annual Family History Seminar that will be held Saturday October 13th from 8-4. I am enclosing a copy of the handout as well as a description of all the classes. You can come to one class, 3 classes or spend the whole day :)

There is no child care though but everyone over 12 is invited. Bring a bag lunch if you are going to be spending all day there although there won't be a fridge to keep it cold . It is going to be amazing!! Any classes that have a happy face beside it is for beginners although anyone can attend it. There literally is a class for everyone so pick and choose. The instructors are all very experienced! If you have any questions you know where I am :)




Hello Everyone :)

Today I walked for...

This weekend I took part in a marathon relay. Those of you that know me well know I can not run. So there was no point in me competing with professional marathoners. But anyone that does know me know I am a competitive person. Tell me I can't do something and it will always be my pleasure to prove to you that I can. Up to a point. Before I said I would do this I thought of why I wanted to do it. I thought of why I had gotten healthy again, why I had lost all my excess weight and why I continued to monitor it.

I had 2 "legs" of the relay to complete; a 2 mile one and a 5 mile one. I did the 2 mile yesterday in good time. Today I did the 5 mile one with much more difficulty. It is raining here and my muscles don't do well in rain. I could feel the muscles start to cramp at about the 3.5 mark but I'm not a quitter either.

I reminded myself of why I was doing this. I saw my sister's face in my mind and I knew why I was going to finish this leg no matter if I landed on my face. These are the reasons I walked today:

For my sister Adele who died of colon cancer at the age of 46
For my dad Roland who died of prostate cancer at the age of 59
For my aunts:
Lucy of breast cancer at 51
Winni of breast cancer also at age 51
Irene of breast cancer at 63
Cecile of brain tumour at age 43

For my uncle Paul who died of prostate cancer at 76
My grandfathers:
Benoit who died of liver cancer of age 74
Albert who died of prostate cancer at 88 years

For my cousin Curtis who died of leukemia at the age of 4
For my cousin Donald whose wife was just diagnosed with breast cancer

Today I walked for my children Douglas Kim Mary Eugene Lareta Curt Jody and Linda
Today I walked for my grandchildren, Terry Senthia Britnee Dallas Latitia Sinead Darien Regan Amber Rosaleen Miranda and Aisling.
Today and every day come rain or shine I walk for Keith and for our eternal family. I am determined to not give in to this disease that has caused so much grief in my family. I will continue to do what I must to make sure I remain as healthy as possible.

I could feel my sister with me as I finished my last steps gasping for air as my lungs felt like I was inhaling sand paper. I had a friend earlier this week ask me why on earth would I want to do this when there were no prizes no TADA's with thousands of spectators cheering you on to victory.. what was the point. There was a point. I smiled as the vision of my sister left me... there was a point.

Cost of being a Nana

New Jeep double stroller to transport princesses around their kingdom:$55.00 (Notice the brand name Jeep matches our own Jeep?)



New toy chest or imaginary trunk:$7.99

New Barbie Princess Castle:$5.99


2 Mommy Barbies, 1 Daddy Barbie and 2 Baby Barbies with clothes to wear:$12.99


New imaginary clothes:$2.99 each



The intense look on a Princess as she plays with her new things: Priceless!!