I haven't posted for a couple of weeks which isn't like me. I talk to much to not be posting on here but I have been writing in my regular journal so have no fear! I have just been dealing with demons and that is taking a lot out of me. We had our family Christmas dinner last Friday and we had decided this year to host it in the common room where we live.. way MORE space (which when you count how many people are here its a good thing=). At least in theory. There was more room. There was a pool table, sitting area for the kids to play their WII game, couches for moms to sit and visit and then of course huge tables to sit down. We actually for the first time ever in years all sat down at the BIG PEOPLE table.. everyone.. even the children.. they felt so grown up it was very cute,
But the downside was we had to be out at midnight which was ok as I was tired but we hadn't eaten till 8 and by the time we finished that and then opened presents it was getting close to the witching hour. After spending all day hauling things up a long flight of stairs I was dreading packing it all up to get it all home. Everyone did their part but Keith was still vaccuming at 1:30 am. I told him when we walked back into our place that we had to figure something else out as when we walked in the front door we were met with boxes and more boxes of things. Everything had been dropped in our front hall. GROAN
I made Keith go to bed as he had also been working at his job all day so was very tired. I put all the food away thinking I'll clean up the rest when I got up. But when Keith got up and started putting things away he came across a box that held the ham, mashed potatoes, all the salads I had worked so hard out, all the cheeses etc.... all gone cause they had been left out. I was so mad when I woke up!!! I sat down with Keith and said we need to figure some other way of having Christmas dinner with our children and grandchildren as this is NOT working for me. I worked very hard for days before making special dishes and decorating and it is just physically draining on me. I spent the next 3 days before I truly was able to climb into the shower by myself and get dressed. I just can't do that anymore. So I have a year to figure it out.
One of the things that has made me think these last couple of weeks have been our Christmases of past. I thought of our first Christmas where Keith had gotten laid off 2 days before Christmas. He said that we had to use his last cheque to pay our tithing to the Lord and he would provide. I was brand new in this new church and thought no way Heavenly Father would let our children go without Christmas but Keith was adamant. so He hurried the next morning to go drop off a cheque with the Bishop and then one to our mortgage company leaving with nothing to buy gifts with for our children.. I was heartbroken but the next day Christmas Eve I got a call from the school saying that every year they collect hampers for Christmas and then distribute them to needy families. They felt because we had 5 small children under the age of 6 and that our 2 5 year olds and our 6 year old went there that we might need things. I said YSSS!!! Are you kidding me?At this point pride goes out the window!. I mean what was I going to say? SO I told them after 1 would be good as they would all be down for naps by then. We literally filled our bedromm from top to bottom with things and the kitchen was wall to wall with boxes of food. I sat down and bawled my eyes out as I realized the true meaning of tithing. It wasn't just doing it when things were easy but rather when you should. We had been so blessed that very first Christmas together I will never forget that nor ever forget the importance of tithing ever again. It brought me literally in tears on my knees asking for forgiveness for my lack of faith that He would provide for us if we but did as we needed to. And He did. The children had a wonderful Christmas. I tried looking for a picture of all the gifts wrapped under the tree but couldn't find it. So instead I will post the ones of the children for our first Christmas and our tree this year. Keith always asks for a tree that has matching ornaments or all one color but I tell him we have a memory tree. Every ornament has a story behind it, the children have made them our grandchildren have made them . Each child and grandchild and their spouses have their own decoration that goes on. You can't have a perfect tree when you have a memory tree and that is why we celebrate Christmas. To remember whose birthday it really was and to celebrate his birth. Being together to do that is the greatest gift of all and I am truly blessed to have a family that loves me, grandchildren who call me Barbie pretty, and a husband who unconditionally loves me. What more could a girl ask for?
I went through our Christmas box that holds those pictures and came across a couple I was looking for. They were 2 that had been taken when we were still living on our own with our kids. It was so bizarre as we had taken the pictures at the same mall with the same Santa on the same day literally minutes apart as the numbers on the pictures are three apart! Then we have a picture of our first Santa picture as a new family. Do not ask me why I allowed my daughter out of the house wearing a pink shirt and summer polka dotted green skirt but she was very adamant about her choices of clothes. Ok but don't sit near me hehhe just kidding Lareta... I still love you!So you go from those very first family pictures and then one of them all grown up with their families and I look in awe as I see that Heaven;ly Father has truly sent me the very best family one could ever ask for.
This year we leave in 2 days to go to our one son's home for Christmas with them and I am like a kid in a candy store waiting to see them again. I miss them terribly and it will even be worse next year as we are determined not to spend a single penny that is not absolutely crucial so that next Feb 2009 we are planning a huge family trip to Hawaii with all the kids and grandkids with us. So we'll be saving every cent available to us which means no traveling anywhere or eating out or shopping needlessly. That is going to be tough!! Sorry Lareta! :( No more lunches out at Hearty Boys/ They are going to miss our smiling faces!!
It will be a hard Christmas...We have to go through some family things and it's important for me this year to "please everyone", make sure everyone is happy. I was up till after 4AM today and then got up 3 hours later so I am very tired. I have to be downtown Vancouver today and I am not looking forward to doing that in the pouring rain. I hurt and I am tired. I was working on the staff scheduling till 4 this morning and still found mistakes before I went to bed and now have to fill holes once again. Back to the drawing board :( Breathe in Breathe Out!
So as I close this probably last post before we leave I would like to wish those who post with me a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! And to those of you who just read I wish you as well a great Merry Christmas.. May next year be the year you share your thoughts with me :) Take care, be safe, and I sincerely wish for all of you to know the true meaning of Christmas!