Monday, February 28, 2011

Family Ties and Hurts

As most of you know I had to take an unexpected trip home this past month to take care of my mom as she has gotten quite ill. I used up my airmiles and we only have maybe enough to make one more trip to Sask...which would be ok if we had only one more to take this year but we don't. Here is our agenda for the next 6 months
-Keith's dad 80th birthday celebration May long weekend in Saskatoon
-one of our nephew's wedding July 30th in Saskatoon
-our "goddaughter's" wedding Sept 18th in Saskatoon.

Not to mention keith's last natural aunt is on palliative care in AB right now and I spoke to his uncle very very early this morning and it just days or even hours at this point. She is on palliative care at the hospital and are only trying to keep her comfortable as possible.

Our oldest nephew's wife (on Keith's side) is also on palliative care with her cancer so we know her time left on earth is limited.

In an ideal world we would be able to fly back for all these planned AND unplanned events this year but with Keith not working since October, no matter what we choose to attend someone in our family will be chocked and hurt that we are not going to be at "theirs". I was told I needed to set priorities, that by doing that I can make the decision on what we are going to do. I probably will have to go back to mom's once we know the results of the angiogram, To be my priority is to our parents, At both being 80 and 81. I don't know how much time is left with either of them. With Keith's dad losing his only brother less then a year ago this will be very hard on him saying goodbye to his only sister now.

In an ideal world, we would have unlimited financial funds to pay a thousand dollars to fly back there 6 more times in the next 6 months but at only getting 70% of his wage from WBC and having to pay deductions on back amounts on top of that as we only just found out on the weekend we would have to pay this, and as we do not use our credit cards except for emergencies, we don't even collect airmiles fast enough to be able to use them.

No matter how we decide this, we will be hurting a few people and it could cause irreversible damage.

Thursday, February 03, 2011


I can't sleep as usual and then remembered Keith telling me when I got home that my mom had called to chew his ear off for 3/4 hour. He said she was so very excited I was coming down and for such a long period of time. 2 whole weeks. I have not been away from Keith for that length of time since before we moved to BC over 20 years ago. But he continued to say she was worried about me coming and when he asked her why she said they had to close the road into town. Apparently there is so much snow there that the deer have come to town to get food from the bushes etc in people's yards. There have been so many deer that they closed the road and drivers kept hitting them.

I had to chuckle thinking of my mom wrestling with deer while standing at the side of the highway waiting for the bus to stop there with me. My mom is a creature of habit and routine. She hates change with a passion (hmmmm that sounds awfully familiar). I already know my routine once I get there. Up at 8, have porridge for breakfast..none of this instant package stuff but the kind you cook for half an hour. Then a walk outside in the ton of snow. Dinner at 12 sharp...notice I did not say lunch...nap after dinner and forget the fact that I am a grown woman with 15 1/2 grandchildren., while I am there I am there as her daughter and that means nap at 1. I always lay in bed thinking of great what am I going to do but in seconds I am usually asleep...another walk in the afternoon, then supper not dinner at 5pm... then just hang out and bed by 10. and no staying up late reading a book nope nope nope..bed time means bedtime.And usually I wake up thinking thinking oh my goodness I fell asleep and slept all night. I wake up because I can smell the coffee pot, the porridge cooking, toast in the toaster and the clink of the up I go.

2 weeks of just talking, there is no cell service, no internet, no Facebook, no files, no emails, I am going to go insane. But 2 weeks of doing nothing but visiting with me mom taking her for her tests and doctors appointments but I have a feeling this visit will do ME more good then it will do her :) Moms... they always know best don't they? No matter how old one gets one always needs their Mommy