Saturday, June 21, 2008

Crazy hectic life!

I swear my days are getting away from me!! It's almost at the end of June and I am still looking for January! I am going to bed later, getting up earlier and still my day goes whipping by me like I am standing still. I was talking to Keith just a couple of days ago and told him that 7 months ago I got my new job, huge factor in my life on it's own, 2 weeks later I was diagnosed with bread cancer. (God has a wicked sense of humour obviously to give me that kind of responsibility and then have cancer pop up!)6 months later I have had a double mastectomy, visits to the surgeon's every other week, doctors appointments in between, physio twice a week, 2 more surgeries coming up this summer, then at work, my left hand assistant and now my right hand assistant have been released so am left wandering around in the dark trying to figure out what the heck I am doing. And of course doing all this while stepping on people's toes. Obviously one of my unknown talents.

And speaking of toes, I have broken one of mine. I walked blindly into a wall at 4am this morning. Like I didn't know the wall was there!! I was on my way to bed and guess misjudged the distance in the dark. Normally I have a night light on but had given it to one of my granddaughters that was sleeping over.

Work is closed for all of July. Thank goodness!! Hopefully I can then get caught up, get the new executive committee members trained and ready to go in August when we reopen. We have a huge Genealogical Seminar in October that am trying to wrap my brain up in. I am a perfectionist (oh yea I heard that snort Carm lol) and madly trying to make sure every little detail is taking care of. Which is quite difficult when I don't know what all these details involve. Blind faith!

We are having a Canada Day party here. Normally we go to Cloverdale park to watch the fireworks and spend the day but lately the vendors for rides etc have gotten quite expensive so we stopped going. Yesterday I was at the dollar store with 3 granddaughters and cleaned them out of theme stuff, prizes for games we are going to play. Food is going to be all red, white or a combination of both! I think it will be pretty cool!

To top it all off have been continually planning our big family trip to Hawaii for February which is coming up so incredibly fast! And now Keith with his raised blood sugars and cholesterol levels I have been working hard at making sure all his meals are healthy and varied but he tends to skip lunch as he is always on the go so salads are a no hit as they get wilted by the time he gets around to eating it. Same goes for soup that he can reheat at work. He ends up eating it cold after the 4th time of reheating it. Very hard trying to come up with things that are appealing, and yet not always some kind of sanwhich.

So that's what's been going on with me. Same old same old different day :)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Wants versus Needs

Today I had the opportunity to rationally discuss the difference between wanting something and needing something with a granddaughter. When I was a young mom back in the ice age in a different life time I had been talking about this same topic of conversation with her as we're heading off to do our visiting teaching and were discussing the lesson on the way there. Her comment was "If I want something bad enough I must need it". I loved her :)

But now I am a responsible adult and have to explain to a 4 year old the difference. I explain very logically that you need to have air to breathe, you need to have food in your stomach to live, you need a home to live in and you need to have clothes to wear as Heavenly Father would not be happy if everyone went all over the place naked.

She thought for a few minutes and this was the ensuing conversation:

Her: I need my Mommy Barbie

Me: No you want your Mommy Barbie

Her: No Nana I need my mommy Barbie (which is in the toy box which has already been cleaned up and put away.

Several minutes went by doing the usual power struggle balk yes I do and no you don't sort of thing.

Her: Nana I am not a child I am 4 years old I know what I want and need and I know I need my Mommy Barbie.

Me: Sigh why do you feel you need this Mommy Barbie instead of just wanting her.

Her: Cause she has no clothes on and I don't want Heavenly Father to look in the toy box cause he can see everything and He will see she is naked and you said you need clothes so Nana for the last time I NEEED My Mommy Barbe!


Going On Strike!!

I want it to be known that on this night at 1:30am I am officially going to boycott all weather people and channels. I mean seriously!! How much rain can one area possibly need??? FOR SO LONG!! Usually March it starts to warm up we get some warm sunny days, our gardens go in and we are nice. Now middle of June and I still have the heat on in the house, my electric blanket is still on at night time on the bed and socks on my feet.

I can't sleep at might because I hurt. Every muscle aches. Imagine your worst ever flue and times it by 10. That's my life as an FM patient. Getting out of bed is a struggle. Getting in the tub is a struggle. If I need to be somewhere first thing in the morning like last 2 days in a row as well as tomorrow which makes three days, I am a basket case. I need undamp weather with sunny skies and no more atmospheric pressure!

So here is my plan of action of my boycotting.

1. I will not listen to any weather station or person (and yes that will mean I won't be able to know for sure if Tamma Taggart is pregnant again)

2. I will not go on to check out the next 2 weeks of weather.

3. I will not carry an umbrella with me every single time I go out the door

4. I will not turn the tv on to channel #18 to see what the weather channel says

6. And my last thing I am going to do is I am going to will summer to get here by my sheer determination and free will!! I think it therefore it shall happen. I mean hey they built a ball diamond and the people really did come out to play so why can't this happen? It's going to happen.. I have decreed it so!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Who'll Stop the Rain??

Ok ok I get that we live in a green province .. I can appreciate it as much as the next guy that we have flowers blooming all year but come on... could we get some sun please anytime soon??????? I am so sick of this rain! I mean literally! Figuratively as well but I hurt.. this constant rain makes my fibro flare up unbelievingly and I keep trying to push through the pain but it won't let go of it's grip :(

I spent the weekend in Seattle with Curt, Lareta and the kids. I was able to go to the temple several times but it had been the first time I had been there since I had been diagnosed with the cancer and it was very hard. I had hoped to have gone in with Lareta so I wouldn't be alone but she just had not been able to go on Saturday. The trip down and going to the temple the Friday night had been too much. So I sat there trying to not breakdown or start acting out of control but it wasn't easy.

I have lost another member of my executive committee for the Family History Centre.. basically my right hand especially when it came to our annual seminar in October and my head is spinning trying to figure out what to do. I must be hard on the staff.. either that or our personalities are clashing or my feet are too big and I am stepping on too many toes :(

One of my sister in laws did come out all last week from Saskatchewan and we had a wonderful visit. Well at least I think we did. Keith and I kept thinking she was going to drop a bomb on us with why she was down (his family pretty much never comes out just to visit) and so we kept waiting. But she would keep saying no she had just come down to visit. So that was a wonderful way to relax and just sit and talk. One of my favorite things to do.

That's it for me.. on to my day or what's left of my night