Sunday, December 23, 2012

Letter To Jesus

As I wind down in my preparations for Christmas I thought I would take a moment to reflect on my year. It has been a rough one in many firsts that I do not want to ever go through again. But through all the rough stuff I knew that I was never alone. And because at this time we are celebrating the birth of Christ, I thought I would put my thoughts into a letter to Him. I certainly do not mean any disrespect in my letter or what I say. These are just my thoughts.

Christ, you look different now then in the way I normally see you or think of you as being. This is Sally...but you already knew that. I guess no one can really hear me in my prayers except you and that is ok by me. Thank you for everything you have done for me this year. As long as I can remember you have been by my side. I will never forget how you stood by me this year when we thought we had lost Keith three times.

I have always been able to count on you when I have felt so dark inside you were there with me every time - even when I didn't feel good about myself I knew that you cared enough for me that you made me feel better. Like that time I got so mad at the world when my brother was diagnosed with cancer. I hollered, I hollered really loud in my head but then I got to thinking you love my brother just as much as I do.

I know I have talked to you about this many times this year - about losing my father in law, about Keith being so sick, being in and out of the hospitals, my brother so ill with his cancer - I continued to talk to you honestly - the way it seemed at times that I couldn't talk to anyone else. All our middle of the nights ramblings when no one else was around to talk to, you were always there willing and able to listen. I always came to you with a problem even sometimes knowing the answer, I still asked the questions just in case you had a different answer for me.

I love you - you are my closest and finest friend and that means I can always hold my head up high wherever I go and whatever I will need to face in the coming year. I may not like the circumstances that I will be in but I know that if I keep my faith in You and continue to believe in You that I will truly never be alone.

I cannot even begin to imagine what my life would be like without You by my side and I am so thankful each and every day to have that fulness inside of me. I know it may sound weird but I am thankful for the trials I face because it means I am growing even if no one else sees it. My prayer this Christmas is not for all the gifts I can hold, or for trips, vacations, new grandchildren etc. It is that each member of my family immediate and extended, know that you are there for them as well, that no matter what anyone has done with their lives or what trials they may face, that they may know that you died for us that we might live. I pray that we all remember why we celebrate this holiday and that through it all - you are never more then a prayer or a thought away.