Forgive and Forget

I spent the entire morning the other day with the only other person that knows me other then Keith, talking about how easily it is for us to say I forgive you for a wrong doing. But part of the forgiveness process involves forgetting the incident totally. We talked about something that happened in my life that took my breath away. I have always been capable in forgiving people who had wronged me in whatever way and then moved on with my life. But a wrong was done to me But this has left me in a stew pot for 2 months now. As a practicing Christian I was taught the Golden Rule, do the right thing, and forgive and forget. And one of us would say but I forgave them last time and then did it again and mom would say you have to do it 70 times 70 as Christ told us.

And now being a Latter Day Saint being able to forgive and forget needs to be done or you do not go to the temple. You can not go in their with a grudge or bad thoughts in your mind heart or soul. I am 51 years old and this is the first time I have not forgiven and it will be a long time before I can forget. So what do I do?It is not something that I can fixed; I am just very hurt. My friend and I talked for hours that morning saying how people seem to say those two words "I forgive you" but then then bring it up at every disagreement or when they want to drive a point across.

To me I have always had both of them together I forgive and I forget and I move on with my life. And that was the reason why the call with my friend. After a few hours yakking we really had not accomplished more of anything else. I won't be able to go to the temple now till I get that sorted out. And that is going to hurt. I could just go anyway but seeing as they do ask the patrons there if anyone has any bad feelings towards the others you may want to step away, I have such a gullible face they would seek me out with a missile let me tell you,

Then we talked about how I had forgiven this person on his death bed and I had told him that and I told him how hard it had been to live with that kind of garbage but I told him I loved him and all was forgotten. He said I know and in a split second had a stroke and never regained consciousness. So if I already forgive for the things that happened in our youth then does that count for the new stuff I just got knowledge of? I don't know what to do. It is all I can think of all summer and it is filling me with feelings that had long been buried, Some that had been forgotten for many decades. Only now they are all resurfacing at the same time and it is sensory overload. I do not know what to do. How do you forgive someone that is dead?