Because I Have Been Given Much

It's just after 1 in the morning and am just getting home from my time by my close friend's hospital bedside. She has been there for over 6 months now and for the last couple of weeks has been deteriorating. I have posted a few times in the past on here on how I have been friends with a lot of women in my life, even more acquaintances.. but over the course of my life I have only gotten very close with a very few women. These women I have called my "Almost Sisters". Almost because we aren't biologically related but that is all that prevents us from being true sisters.

We all know or at least most of us know that we were all brothers and sisters in the pre-existence but at times in this life certain people cross our paths for no unknown reason they just do. Six times this has happened in my years. Each time for different reasons, these same 6 women have left my side. Each time I tell myself I am NOT going to get that close ever again.. but then just when I least expect it in walks someone. I really am beginning to believe that God insists that I need a bosom buddy that is not my husband.

This friend, is one of those women and my heart aches while I watch her slip from us. It aches because I am watching her suffer. It aches because I am watching her husband by her side trying to hang on to her. I was telling a co-worker today how I wish that in an ideal world our hearts and heads would be on the same page at the same time.

I have been asked many times these last couple of months why I keep going back to the hospital every day, when I have just myself gotten out of the hospital just 2 weeks ago from my own surgery. I just keep saying because I need to. Last year when I had my mastectomies, this friend arranged for meals to come to my home for 3 weeks, arranged for my home to be cleaned, arranged for rides to appointments, most of which I tried overriding her with my pride and " I don't need help I can do it" attitude which she completely ignored. I was telling her night nurse this when we were changing her and cleaning her up. I said it's my turn now to take care of her.

On the quiet ride home tonight I thought of a hymn we sang at church on Sunday. Keith had been sitting sort of turned away from me dealing with a grandchild and all of a sudden he sensed I had changed inside. I don't think my singing had changed or that I had even shifted in my seat but he just knew the song had hit a raw nerve in me as I thought of how much God had given me this past year and a half. Most of all He gave me my life back, he gave me 2 new granddaughters, a new grandchild to be, the chance to reconnect with my family this summer in my home town many of which I had not seen in 20 years; He gave me the ability to be a little bit more patient with others; to learn to trust in others; to have trust not only in Him but in His timing.

As I thought of the words to that song on the way home, I knew why I was going back to the hospital every day.. it is simply because I have been given much...

Because I have been given much, I too must give. Because of thy great bounty, Lord each day I live. I shall divide my gifts from thee with every brother that I see, who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care… I cannot see another’s lack and I not share-my glowing fire, my loaf of bread-my roof’s safe shelter over head, that he too may be comforted.

Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord, I’ll share thy love again according to thy word. I shall give love to those in need. I’ll show that love by word and deed, thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.