Friday, February 13, 2009

Vows and stuff

Recently I found out that it now makes 4 couples from our old friends in Regina that have gotten divorced. To say I was surprised is to minimize it big time. I found out about the last couple just before we went to Hawaii and I had a lot of time to reflect on my own marriage, on my parent's marriage and watching 3 of our sons with their wives on vacation, their marriages and I wondered what happens to that magic that we all experienced on our wedding day? Do we really have rose colored blinders on? Do we really know who we are marrying? Does life get in the way of "for better for worse, for richer for poorer in sickness and in health for all time and eternity (or till death do you part for those that aren't members of my faith)"? We raised our children the exact same way and yet all 3 of our sons that were in Hawaii with us treated their wives completely different.

When does one decide where you get to the point of no return? After one chance, two, three, none? I remember way back when some political wife took her adulterous husband back and Hilary Clinton made a comment that put women all over the world up in arms by saying "I'm not a little woman that "Stands By Your Man (from Tammy Wynette song)".. but when the shoe fell by her bed she did stand by him.

Do you just go by sheer emotion, lack of being able to trust again, forgive and forget as Christ did many times over? When do you step up to the plate and say I don't think my name is spelt D-O-O-R-M-A-T? What makes one person leave after just one "offense" yet another stick by their spouse through it all?

By no means am I writing this to offend anyone that has ever left their spouse for any reason. I am just curious at to what other's line of no return is. I know the day I met Keith I told him flat out if he ever laid a hand on me or even looked like he was going to, he would never see me again. To me that was my line of do not cross. Am I too naive to think there isn't anything that can't be worked out other then abuse?