Friday, January 14, 2011

Grown Children

When you have children there is something you should know,a very confusing thing that they don't tell you. You see so much of yourself in them, you see your ironic take of the world, you see your smile, your walk, your sense of humour, and you think they're you. But they're not you and they shouldn't have all of your baggage, your fears, you insecurities and your life experiences because that's not fair. They should have their own. I am so proud and so impressed and so in awe of them. I just want them to go out there in the world and fly.. they can fly..

You can be a parent and you can be mom and dad..there is a difference but as parents we don't/can't always tell the difference. My mother in law told me when my children were teenagers and driving me crazy that to appreciate them because I would be more stressed when they moved out but at the time I couldn't see it. Now I do.. I worry a lot more now. Before I worried about whether my daughter would be asked on a date, I worried about a son passing a big test, I worried when they missed curfew, I worried when they had a fever. But I knew where they were at night, I knew they had a safe roof overhead, at home I knew they had enough to eat, they were safe. Now I don't know this.

At times I see them make the same mistakes we did and I want to shake them and say SNAP OUT OF IT! We did that, been there, not going back there again because the end result is not a good thing but I see them making the mistakes anyway. And you can't do a single thing about it. That is when the parent part is supposed to kick in. But I am not sure how to do that. As a parent you need to let your children fly and watch them from afar. But as a mom and dad, or let me rephrase it, as a mom I don't know how to let them go. That part was never in any instruction manual I got when I first had a child. Oh wait there was no manual. Maybe that is why I have the problems now.

Now I worry about whether or not they have enough money to look after themselves; I worry about whether or not they have enough food for their children; I worry if when I ask them if everything is ok and they say yes if they are just telling me that; I worry that they WON'T ask us for help and try and do it on their own.