Last surgery ~~~ I think

So here I am a week post op with what I hope to be my last surgery. With having had 6 surgeries last year, 3 of which happened in a 5 week period, I developed a nasty bout of scar tissue that was affecting my left arm. I saw my surgeon at the end of April and she said she would have to go back in to remove it.

So last Tuesday I went under the knife.. it's bad when you have been in the same OR so many times you actually know the nurses by name and they ask you about the new granddaughters you have! I saw the surgeon yesterday and she said everything went well. She ended up taking out about a 6-7" length of scar tissue but I never thought of asking how thick it had been. She only took out about half of the stitches as part had not quite healed enough and she did not want a repeat of earlier where one end did not close letting infection set in.

I have to go back on Monday to get the rest out and that should be the end of that era. Today was a different story. As any one that reads that knows me knows I don't sleep very well or very often and my doctor sent me back to the sleep disorder clinic at UBC hospital. I had been there in 2001 where they had found I had episodes of alpha delta sleep resulting in brain activity that continued throughout the night. I went on medication for it and slept really good for several years but last couple of years it has gone back to the way it had been before I was tested. I had to fill out a questionnaire a few months ago that had me keep a detailed diary of my day and nights for a 2 week period. I am sure she must have looked at that and decided I was half crazy. But she was very polite and neglected saying it out loud :)

She went over current health history for about 20 minutes then concluded I needed to be checked in for a 2 day overnight sleep study. It basically would be come in early evening, get hooked up to all the electrodes, spend the night, be released the next morning, go back for the evening, spend the night again as well as the whole next day where they will check me for 4-5 "scheduled" naps throughout the day. It never registered for that part till I was on my way home when I thought uhhh just exactly how do you schedule a nap let alone that many? Maybe knock me over the head??But I guess they know what they are doing. But the part that I did NOT like was the fact that I have to be off ALL my medications for 4 days before the first night, stay off of them for the 2 nights I am there so basically off of them for 6 days and nights. Not a good thing.

But the good part is they had a cancellation and could fit me in 3 weeks so am ready I guess. But let me be perfectly clear... This last 2 years has been enough already health wise..it is someone else's turn!! Actually I change my mind.. I wouldn't want to wish this past health issues on anyone. But I really have had enough.. time for a new me :)

TV Land

Ok if the powers to be are listening, these are my requests for the 2009/2010 TV season:
1. No more vampire/satanic/devil worshiping shows
2. No more teenagers/high school/young adult shows
3. No more 30 minute comedy sitcoms where the wife brow beats or makes fun of her husband
4. More shows that actually make you use your mind to think
5. That if shows begin the season that they be allowed to continue the season and not take it out after the 3rd episode
6. No more reruns half way through the 2nd month.. come on at least make it till Christmas season before you start
7. No changing nights for a show once you start the season
8. Get a better rating system then what is in place already cause it sucks..there should not be swearing on a show that is rated PG13. Are you telling me a 13 year old needs to hear that kind of language?
9. No More Reality shows of celebrities or any other kind..I really don't want to watch a show about a person that hoards garbage
10. Get rid of Paid Programming late nights or at least keep it to only 1 channel. Why does there have to be so many?
11. Why is Treehouse on in the middle of the night? Why are all the young teen channels such as YTV and FAM on in the middle of the night.. they should all be in bed.
12. Somebody needs to police the MTV channel.. have you seen the videos on there? The kind where you would find in the BACK room of an adult video store. Why are they on during the day when kids are at home or early evening?
13. Bring new cooking shows on the Food Network Channel. Some of those shows are from 2004/2006
14. Finally get some better cliff hangers at the end of the season.. enough to keep you hanging all summer otherwise I move onto another channel
15. Get better movies that aren't R rated on your movie channel so the rest of the world gets to watch them as well.

I am I said

I AM... I SAID
Written by Neil Diamond

Ponteix's fine, the sun shines most the time
And the feeling is 'lay back'
Poplar trees grow, and rents are low
But you know I keep thinkin' about
Making my way back

Well I'm Ponteix born and raised
But nowadays, I'm lost between two shores
Surrey's fine, but it ain't home
{onteix's home, but it ain't mine no more

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king
And then became one
Well except for the names and a few other changes
I you talk about me, the story's the same one

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I've tried, but it won't let me go
And I'm not a girl who likes to swear
But I never cared for the sound of being alone

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

Hospital Policy made by Idiots

I just got back from visiting a dear friend in the hospital who has now been there for 5 months. She was shivering when I got there and when I went to hold her hand, it was ice cold. I noticed her extremities were quite swollen and I asked how the swelling had been. When we left it had been quite bad with skin weeping it was so thin from the swelling. She said it was getting much better although to me it was worse then when I left 2 weeks ago. I went to pull the sheets up and noticed the sheets covering her were wet and when I checked under it her gown was soaked. I asked her how long she had been wet and she said a long time. I went to get the nurse who tells me that she had been changed when they got on shift at 7ish (it now was about 1 in the afternoon). I told her she is really wet and needs to be changed.

Her reply was that she weeps quite a bit through her skin and if they changed linens all the time they got wet they would be changing them every hour! I stood there absolutely dumbfounded. I must of have had an incredulous look on my face or something cause all of a sudden she had the deer in the headlights look on her face! I said "So are you telling me you WON'T go change her till shift change 6 hours from now?" She said well if she REALLY wants to be changed we'll go change her. My mouth just kept opening and closing I was just stupefied at what she was telling me. I just very quietly said " No that's fine I will do it myself where are the linens?" She then tells me oh but if you change her then you will have to un-gown, scrub up again and re-gown as if that was going to deter me. I just looked at her and said "That's my almost sister laying in a pool of wet fluid, I will change her I wouldn't want you to be putting yourself out."

When I gathered up my things and went back in the room Keith asked me what that was all about as apparently by this time my face is all red and I have that "don't talk to me look". I repeated the conversation and my friend started to cry saying how much she had missed me taking charge while I was gone. I couldn't stay long as I could tell she was tired even though she wanted to talk so said we had to go. All the way home I kept going on and on to Keith about the idiocy of hospital politics and that they were so concerned about the bottom financial line that they had forgotten about the patients. Keith had left the room so I could change her and her skin was all red and raw from being so wet for so long. So needless to say the old fingers are going to be busy as I get a hold of Fraser Health so I can go to bat for my friend. Idiots.

Family Reunion

I apologize for not writing in here this last month or so. My whole life has been wrapped up in the family reunion I did for my dad's side of the family. Now if you know me you know I can't stand things not done the way I want it done in my head. But with my health I had to put a couple of projects on the back burner and that ate away at me. No one else knew I was working on them outside of Keith and Lareta but in my head I knew it and it was bugging the heck out of me.

We headed off a week before the reunion helping us to break the 19 hour trip into 3 sections. We spent some time with Keith's dad and his brother/sister in law in Saskatoon before we headed off to my hometown. It was a wonderful reunion!! Everyone kept talking about it and how great it was. But I pushed myself... 18 hour days for 5 days straight while I was there, on my feet the whole time.. but I didn't care.. that is what medication is for :)

Once there my brothers pitched in to help and my mom kept right by my side at 79 years of age. I was so proud of my family.. you know I never let go of my emotions.. I have such an ugly cry.. all red faced and splotchy and can't catch my breath so you get these big old gasps.. terrible.. so my cries come in the shower where no one can hear me.. but it was difficult this past weekend. I felt my grandparents around me most of the weekend especially my grandmother. I felt her hand on my shoulder several times and I know they were both pleased I had kept my word to them that I would do every thing I could do bring the family together.

Sunday night my mom, brothers, sister in laws and nieces/nephews took me aside and gave me some beautiful candles! Lareta had told me a few weeks ago that I really needed to get rid of the ones on my coffee table!! And now there they sit in honour. And tonight my oldest brother sent me a beautiful poem written in both English and French that I will treasure forever.

To me there is nothing more important then my family. Nothing. No one. And this weekend for the first time in the 20 years we have lived in BC, I have not only felt homesick (which I do all the time) but I felt like I was leaving a part of my soul behind. For the first time in all those years I have questioned my sanity in moving here. It was a completely different life there, main street consists of 2 blocks, I could walk the whole town in 30 minutes, the kids just would take off to play and there was nothing to worry about. I truly felt like I was missing a big part of my life not being there.

But then my children would not have met their spouses nor had the children that they have gotten. I would not know the joy I have felt. I love my life here, but I love my family there.. this past 2 weeks has put the question in my heart.... which do I love more.

Here are some pictures. The first is of my grandparents with their first child, followed by a picture of all 13 of their children ( a 14th child died shortly after birth). The next picture is of my mom, my brothers, their wives, all our children and grandchildren for some of us. The last one is of my family.

Letter to TLC

This is a copy of a letter I sent to TLC today..

Hello
I just wanted to say how upset I am that TLC has decided to continue airing new episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8. It used to be one of my favourite programs. Once it became apparent that there were marital problems, TLC and it's affiliates should have made an executive decision of not re-instating any new episodes. It is bad enough that children have to go through any separation/divorce it's even worse that they have to go through it through the television media. With all the publicity this separation has generated over the last few months people that are "thrill-seekers" are going to tune in just in case they get to see some fur fly so to speak. Even viewers that never watched the show previous to all of this are now going to tune in much like drivers slow down to see a car accident.

It would have been more advantageous if TLC had decided on a moral standpoint to not air any more episodes until things cleared with the Gosselins. I won't be watching any more episodes and I may be just one viewer but I am a viewer with a voice.