Tuesday, February 23, 2010

End of an Era

Friday will mark the end of an era in my life. 3 and a 1/2 years ago a then 2 1/2 year old red headed Princess with her own independent mind came into my household. I started watching her while Mommy and Daddy went to work. This little princess became my saving grace and didn't even know it. On Friday I will find it hard to "give her back". Mommy is going to be on maternity leave while they wait for their new baby to arrive then will be home for a year or so. After that Daddy will become a full time at home dad. Or so that is the plan now.

But this little girl became attached to my soul more then one would think. I realized today after I dropped her off at school, I won't be there for her Noisy Reader time in the mornings at school where the parents etc can come in to read with their child. She was sitting on my lap and told me she was going to miss our snuggle time. She said she would tell Mommy that she HAD to come help me clean and then we could just snuggle lol.

She saved me from my self destruction when I was diagnosed with cancer. Here I had all these adults surrounding me, looking after me, but it was this little 4 year old that "took care" of me. She was the one that got me a cloth when my head spent way too much time in the bucket; she was the one that kept an eye on the draining bags from my surgeries and would tell me that one had more blood then supposed to and I needed to empty it. She would follow me in the bathroom just to make sure I did like the nurse told me.

She gave me back rubs every day; brushed my hair and put clips and ponies all over telling me if I looked pretty then I would feel pretty. We spent days at the library, went to the pool, went on adventures in the forests, treks to the parks and beaches, went to the surgeon every 2 weeks for 6 months, we learned where all the bathrooms were, where all the cool lunch places were and she knew the train stations and when we had to get off.

We had tea parties and sleepovers with her younger cousin and together we would get dressed up in our Queen and Princess clothes and tiaras then would bake something scrumptious for Papa. Together with her cousin, they kept my spirits up when all I wanted to do was to pull the blankets up over my head and escape from the world. We finger painted, sculpted masterpieces and went for trips up to Whistler and many camping trips.

And Friday that will come crashing down all around me. I believe I might just have to be elsewhere when Mommy comes and gets her so I do not have to say goodbye. I know I will see her throughout the week but it won't be the same. She taught me about life, she taught me about slowing down and smelling the roses, she taught me patience (she does NOT move at any speed but hers and that was never mine!!), she taught me about sharing, about playing nice and for cheering for other teams that are not Canadian.

I will miss my morning snuggle and all the I love you mostest no returnies. But most of all I will miss making new memories. But this time now belongs to her mommy and her daddy and her new baby when it comes. And one day I will tell her all this and how much she saved her Nana from her self and what she came to be..Nana's special Princess. Thank you Rosaleen. I truly do love you mostest NO RETURNIES!!! xoxoxoxoox


Carmen said...

What a sweet sweet child!! Oh, I wouldn't want to give her back either...