Only at my house

Seriously someone better tell me these kind of things happen in their household even if you have to stretch the truth.. I would hate to think that these moments only happen to me :(

Today I have staff training to do at work and we are starting the evening off with a BBQ. I was bringing ribs so were browning the racks in the oven early this morning before putting them in the slow cookers. As I would take a batch off the grill I would cut them in smaller pieces then pop them in the cooker and get the pan ready for the next batch. I had JUST put the last of the pieces in the cooker and was very carefully taking the very hot bottom part of the pan from the stove to the sink as it was filled to the top with meat juices and marinade that the meat had been in. Just as I was twisting to turn this very loud bang came from 10 or so feet in front of me scaring the heck out of me enough to make me jump and drop this hot pan all over the kitchen floor. When I looked over to the front entrance way to see what the heck that noise was I could see this gallon and a half size jug squirting thick orange syrup all over the place.

We have a storage room that has our food staples and freezer in but in our front entrance way in the closet, half of the space has food shelves that I keep my every day staples in as well as baking pans etc. I'm not like most people that keep all their baking pans and stuff in bottom cupboards as most of the time I can't bend to get in them so all my every day things are on these shelves. Well on the very top one is where I store my bins of potatoes, onions, different flours etc. Right beside them for months now has been this huge jug of orange syrup that is very thick and concentrated that you use to make orange drink when you need large batches of drinks. Keith had gotten it for some activity he had been in charge of and he hadn't needed the 2ND jug so it has just been sitting there since last summer.

Do not ask me why all of a sudden it took a flying leap and hit the floor with enough force to pop the sealed lid off shooting it across the entrance and past me through the whole kitchen and end up in the dining room. It also had popped the silver foil cap that had been under the lid. You know the kind that you can never get off when you are opening a new bottle of something?? If that wasn't enough I noticed that the syrup was rapidly spreading all over the floor onto the floor mat there, into the shoes that never seem to get onto the shoe rack and also onto the hall carpet. I picked it up thinking it was only leaking from the lid but of course not. This is my life we are talking about, it would never be that easy. The side of it had completely split open and when I lifted it up even more syrup came gushing out.

I grabbed the garbage can from under the sink slipping on the hot liquid that still was all over the kitchen floor from the meat pan, and threw it in then grabbed some towels from the dryer that I had just finished washing I might add and started to wipe it up before it got more of the hall carpet. It was only then that I saw the walls in the entrance way. Have you seen that TV commercial where the little girl is talking on the phone with her dad and she is describing to him this mountain that had erupted with the experiment she had made with her mom and how it went all over including the ceiling? Yup that was me. Only my mother was not with me to clean it up nor was I smiling. It actually sprayed on the ceiling which is stippled I might add. All the shelves had syrup on it, all the food items, all the walls in the entrance way, the front door, all the bottom cupboard doors, the fridge, oven and dishwasher was covered, there was even spray onto the dining room carpet which is easily 20 feet away. Now this isn't liquid that is thin like water where you would understand it leaking every where. It is thick syrup like molasses!!

Now with my back there is one motion I can not do. I should not do. When I do it I suffer for a long time after. And that is a twisting motion. The kind of motion you do when you wash walls, windows, floors, vacuum etc. But yet there I was washing every thing down. I had 2 little girls watching this mess wanting to help and I kept saying noooo you guys go play outside. One of them says "Nana do we have to keep this a secret from Papa?"

I washed the kitchen and hall floor THREE times with soapy water and after the 3rd time I grabbed the girls, locked the door and went to my daughter's house. She came back with me after I had run errands so I could drop my things off first so I didn't have to carry them from her house and as she was walking on the floor her flip flops were making this sucking noise and she said oh mom this floor is really sticky then she said mom I am not laughing at you I am laughing with you. Uh huh... sure you are!!

But I can not wash it anymore I have to wait till Keith gets home to give it another really good scrub. I keep telling myself to go around the kitchen (which is a pass through to the rest of the house) instead of going through it but 2 minutes later I go walking across the floor to get something or go through and my feet stick and I think of Homer Simpson which I cannot stand but now know the reason why he invented the word DOH!!! It is about as safe a word as I can muster at this moment.

Only at my house does this happen.