Today I walked for...

This weekend I took part in a marathon relay. Those of you that know me well know I can not run. So there was no point in me competing with professional marathoners. But anyone that does know me know I am a competitive person. Tell me I can't do something and it will always be my pleasure to prove to you that I can. Up to a point. Before I said I would do this I thought of why I wanted to do it. I thought of why I had gotten healthy again, why I had lost all my excess weight and why I continued to monitor it.

I had 2 "legs" of the relay to complete; a 2 mile one and a 5 mile one. I did the 2 mile yesterday in good time. Today I did the 5 mile one with much more difficulty. It is raining here and my muscles don't do well in rain. I could feel the muscles start to cramp at about the 3.5 mark but I'm not a quitter either.

I reminded myself of why I was doing this. I saw my sister's face in my mind and I knew why I was going to finish this leg no matter if I landed on my face. These are the reasons I walked today:

For my sister Adele who died of colon cancer at the age of 46
For my dad Roland who died of prostate cancer at the age of 59
For my aunts:
Lucy of breast cancer at 51
Winni of breast cancer also at age 51
Irene of breast cancer at 63
Cecile of brain tumour at age 43

For my uncle Paul who died of prostate cancer at 76
My grandfathers:
Benoit who died of liver cancer of age 74
Albert who died of prostate cancer at 88 years

For my cousin Curtis who died of leukemia at the age of 4
For my cousin Donald whose wife was just diagnosed with breast cancer

Today I walked for my children Douglas Kim Mary Eugene Lareta Curt Jody and Linda
Today I walked for my grandchildren, Terry Senthia Britnee Dallas Latitia Sinead Darien Regan Amber Rosaleen Miranda and Aisling.
Today and every day come rain or shine I walk for Keith and for our eternal family. I am determined to not give in to this disease that has caused so much grief in my family. I will continue to do what I must to make sure I remain as healthy as possible.

I could feel my sister with me as I finished my last steps gasping for air as my lungs felt like I was inhaling sand paper. I had a friend earlier this week ask me why on earth would I want to do this when there were no prizes no TADA's with thousands of spectators cheering you on to victory.. what was the point. There was a point. I smiled as the vision of my sister left me... there was a point.

Cost of being a Nana

New Jeep double stroller to transport princesses around their kingdom:$55.00 (Notice the brand name Jeep matches our own Jeep?)



New toy chest or imaginary trunk:$7.99

New Barbie Princess Castle:$5.99


2 Mommy Barbies, 1 Daddy Barbie and 2 Baby Barbies with clothes to wear:$12.99


New imaginary clothes:$2.99 each



The intense look on a Princess as she plays with her new things: Priceless!!

Weird stuff going on

So you can't guess what I did last night or what my body did? I had taped Survivor and last season ending of CSI (I like to watch season endings just before the premiere so I can remember how something ended ) and watched Survivor. Keith went to bed and I started to watch CSI. Then it seemed like I was still watching tv but all of a sudden I smelt burning, the alarm was going off and there was loud noise coming from kitchen so jumped off the chair as Keith came running in the kitchen and here there were eggs popping all over :( I guess I had put eggs on to boil for egg salad for Keith's lunch and forgot I did it. The water was all gone and the eggs were very hard boiled so bad they were exploding all over the kitchen! That is just one night. Most nights in last couple of weeks on being on this new drug I wake up in the morning or Keith wakes me up in the middle of the night to ask what was I doing??? I think I am going to check out the medication online for side effects. Poor Keith!! Good thing I can lump all this activity under "worse" part of the better for worse section of our marriage vows hehehe

Duh Moment

Here is something that should make you smile. It is just after midnight right now and was thinking I should go put my jammies on before Keith goes to bed and I looked down and realized I was already wearing my bottoms!!! I remembered my mom had called this morning while I was getting dressed and I was in a rush to head out so finally said bye and left to run errands, met Lareta for lunch, we went and did some shopping .... all the time I am wearing a nice sweater and my pajama bottoms!! Wait till I ask Lareta tomorrow what she was thinking letting me out in public wearing jammies!!

Remembrance and bad stuff

I have been watching the Discovery channel lately (got hooked on it when I was at my moms this summer) and have been watching all these natural disasters that have occurred.. and lately they have been many. As I have been reading the scriptures and for all the years I have read them I know that evil will multiply and be more rampant on earth. I have read many times that the Lord's anger will be released because the people just will not live His life and what He has commanded us to do.

But then I see the suffering of the people that have been caught in hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, floods.. all in the last little bit of time.. a lot of innocent people have given up their lives. I just think of the thousands who lost their lives during 9/11. God could not have meant to have innocent people die?

When my father died, his youngest sister was "volunteered" to come talk to me. I was grieving just like everyone else was but it seemed to the others that I was grieving differently so she came and asked me why God would do this to him? He had finally stopped drinking, becoming a half way human being, changing his life and for what? A cancer that took his life in a year and a half. She kept going on about it was all God's fault and how many evil people were out there and why didn't He get them rather then someone who was working so hard.

I tried explaining to her that God doesn't go around and say ok so and so is gone or that country needs a wake up call let's send them a hurricane. I told her that we have all been counciled since the beginning of time in the Bible to get our acts together, to follow the 10 commandments and the Golden Rule. And have we as a people? Nope not even close.

I told her the reason that I "seemed" different then the others was because I truly believed that we were a family for all time and eternity not just till someone died. I told her about the plan of salvation and how we were given the choice of following Satan or Christ in our previous life. I told her by us coming here means we chose to follow Christ. We also knew to a degree what our lives were going to be like and we said no problem. I can handle it. But with the pain and sorrow comes joy. I told her I would see my dad again one day.

These last couple of months I have been really struggling with my sanity and my spirituality. My head and heart haven't been on the same page lately and that has discombobulated me. When it is in the middle of the night and I can't sleep I think of my Dad and my sister and ask God why? Why them and not the evil people like my aunt asked. Yes my head knows that I will be with them once again but my heart is human and I ask Him again and again.

I think of our daughter and son in law who have struggled this year. Far more then any family should have to deal with. I know they are doing every thing as right as they possibly can so then why? Did He let the blood clots form in Curt's lungs? Did he cause her to lose not one but 2 babies this year? Why? Why do bad things still happen? Is it to make us grow more? Learn more? What are we missing? Why do some people seem to get more then their fair share of struggle? I think of that poem Footsteps In The Sand and the last line where Christ says "In the sand where their is only one set of footprints, they are not yours walking alone, they are mine carrying you." So then why is it then that at times it doesn't feel like you are being carried?

How do you answer your child when they hurt so much? How do you tell them you don't know why all this is happening? I read in a book the other day that said God always answers our prayers but our minds are usually too busy with other things that we don't hear the answers. I can vouch for that. Many times late at night I am saying my prayers and then find myself reminding myself to get some meat out for the next day's dinner or some other idiot thing.

A mom is supposed to kiss all owies better. How do I fix this? I grew up listening to my mom and the other women saying bad things come in threes/ I live my life waiting for the "third" thing all the time. I know that is wrong. I love life too much to do that. But at nights like tonight when it is 3:30 in the morning my heart isn't on the same page as my head and I miss my sister and my dad and I grieve for the grandchildren that God called back to live with him before their parents could hold them.

If I had only known
It was the last walk in the rain
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand
Like a life line to my heart
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm
If I had only known
It was our last walk in the rain

If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on those lonely nights
I could think of them once more
Keep your words alive inside my head
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again

You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
And I turned my head and you slipped away

If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you'd smile at me
I would look into your eyes
And make sure you know my love
For you goes on and on
If I had only known
If I had only known
The love I would've shown
If I had only known

Marathon Relay

Will wonders never cease??? I have just signed up for a marathon relay the weekend of Sept 28/29, I will have a 2 mile leg and a 5 mile leg (this one is the last leg). I will only be walking it as if I ran they would have to scrape me off the pavement half way through. I am very very excited. So every day for the next 2 weeks I am going to push my granddaughter in the stroller and just boogie keeping track of my time to get faster and faster. This way on the day that I do it (minus the stroller and toddler) the time should even be better.

3 1/2 years ago I was walking (if I walked at all) with one or two canes. If I had to go to a mall I had to use a wheelchair. Who would have thought 3 years later I would even be doing a marathon relay let alone think of doing one. I am very pleased with my progress.

A Day in rthe Life

I finally have 2 quiet moments to breathe and thought I would play catch up. I have been watching our 3 1/2 year old granddaughter since the beginning of the month. Keith and I decided that she needed to get out of daycare and be with family. I wouldn't have been able to watch her beforehand as I couldn't lift her in and out of the playpen or the toilet or pick her up but now that she is very self sufficient (at least in her mind) she is here.

So we have been going out for nature walks (have you any idea how MANY leaves or ants are on any given sidewalk that has to be checked out in a one block area?)and doing crafts etc. I didn't want her to spend all day in front of Treehouse although I have to admit by 3 o'cclock that station is a wonderful tool hehehe. Because Lareta has been down the last week and a half, I have had Miranda off and on and the 2 girls have had a blast playing together.

Today we went to the library to register for their weekly storeytime and to get some books. I had packed a picnic lunch and it was so nice out we sat out in front afterwards and had a little picnic. Then off to the pool we went. I will be very happy to see tomorrow morning though so I can just relax and not worry about getting up early and making breakfast.

It's Keith's birthday and our anniversary next week and I wanted to go up to Whistler for the weekend but they have nothing open so will have to make do with dinner at home with friends. Not that there is anything wrong with that. May be a good time to find some new recipes although Keith hates new things. He likes his meat and potatoes.

Well that's it for me. I am going to go see if I can convince these 2 little girls that they NEED a nap :)

Accepted Story

I was just notified by UNILEVER company that makes Dove that my story has been published!!!! I was so thrilled and it came by so unexpectedly!! Here is the link to the story :) I am dancing on air today! I am so excited I might just clean out the oven... nah on 2nd thought I am not THAT excited!

http://www.doveplay.ca/dnb/en/default.aspx?page=gallery@DNBID_20075850765_YRHHKOABJDUVYSG9QX1TCUCXPSY2XD

Canadian Census Report

Yesterday on the 11 o'clock news it reported the findings of the 2006 census. Here are just a few highlights with regards to the dynamics of the so called family life:


* Common-law couple families increasing much faster than married-couple families
o For the first time, more census families comprised of couples without children than with children
* Same-sex married couples counted for the first time
* Lone-parent families: Upward trend has stabilized since 2001
o More never-married lone parents and fewer widowed
o Lone-mother families remain the majority of lone-parent families but growth is higher for lone-father families

# Households

* Household size continues to decline
o Large increase in number of one-person households

# Individuals

* Legal marital status: Unmarried people outnumber married people for the first time
* Living as part of a common-law couple growing rapidly, especially for older age groups
o More common-law partners divorced than never-married after age 50
* Living as part of a couple peaks for women in their late thirties
* Increasing proportion of children aged 14 and under live with common-law parents
o Some children shared a home with grandparents
* Higher proportion of children aged 4 and under with mothers in their forties
* Fewer young adults aged 20 to 29 in couples
* More young adults aged 20 to 29 living in the parental home

Family portrait: Continuity and change in Canadian families and households in 2006: Highlights

* The 2006 Census enumerated 8,896,800 census families in Canada. Married couples constituted the largest group (68.6%), although their proportion has been steadily decreasing for the past 20 years.
* The number of common-law-couple families increased 18.9% between 2001 and 2006, more than five times the 3.5% gain observed for married-couple families and more than double the growth of 7.8% for lone-parent families.
* Lone-parent families headed by men increased 14.6% during the five years prior to 2006, more than twice the growth of lone-parent families headed by women (+6.3%).
* For the first time in 2006 there were more census families comprised of couples without children (42.7%) than with children (41.4%).
* The 2006 Census enumerated 45,300 same-sex couples. Of these, about 7,500 (16.5%) were married couples and 37,900 (83.5%) were common-law couples. In 2001 there were 34,200 same-sex couples in Canada.
* The number of same-sex couples grew 32.6% between 2001 and 2006, more than five times the growth observed for opposite-sex couples (+5.9%).
* Households have been declining in size over the past century. In 2006, there were more than three times as many one-person households (26.8%) as those consisting of five or more people (8.7%).
* The census counted 12,437,500 private households in 2006, up 7.6% from 2001. One-person households (+11.8%) and couples without children (+11.2%) grew more than twice as fast as the total population in private households (+5.3%). Households with children edged up only 0.4%.
* For the first time in 2006, there were more unmarried people aged 15 and over in Canada than legally married people. Just over one-half of Canada's population aged 15 and over was unmarried, that is, they had never been legally married, or they were divorced, widowed or separated.
* Two-thirds (65.7%) of Canada's total of 5.6 million children aged 14 and under lived with married parents in 2006, a decline from 81.2% in 1986.
* A growing proportion of young children aged 4 and under had a mother in her forties as more and more women delayed childbearing. In 2001, 7.8% of children aged 4 and under had a mother who was between the ages of 40 and 49. By 2006, this proportion had increased to 9.4%.
* The proportion of young adults aged 20 to 29 who lived in the parental home continued to increase, following an overall upward trend for the past 20 years. In 2006, 43.5% of young adults lived at home, up substantially from 32.1% two decades earlier.
* Provincially, Newfoundland and Labrador (52.2%) and Ontario (51.5%) had the highest proportions of young adults in their twenties living in the parental home in 2006 while Alberta (31.7%) and Saskatchewan (31.8%) had the lowest proportions.
* Nova Scotia had the lowest proportion of private households comprised of couples with children (25.5%) in 2006. The national average was 28.5%.
* Common-law unions continued to be more prevalent in Quebec in 2006, where over one-third of couples lived in a common-law union (34.6%), a level much higher than the other provinces and territories (13.4%).
* Ontario had the highest proportion of married-couple families (73.9%) in Canada in 2006 and the lowest proportion of common-law-couple families (10.3%).
* The number of census families in Alberta increased 11.5% between 2001 and 2006, nearly twice the national average (+6.3%).
* In 2006, half (50.0%) of same-sex couples in Canada lived in Montréal, Toronto and Vancouver. Quebec, Ontario, and British Columbia were the first three provinces to legalize same-sex marriage.
* In 2006, nearly one out of five census families was a lone-parent family in the census metropolitan areas of Regina, Saint John, St. John's, Winnipeg, Thunder Bay and Montréal.
* Census metropolitan areas with fast growing populations in private households also tended to have the most rapid increases in the number of households with couples and children. Between 2001 and 2006, households with couples and children grew above the national average (+0.4%) in Barrie (+14.6%), Calgary (+12.9%) and Oshawa (+7.6%).
* In 2006, more young adults aged 20 to 29 in Toronto's CMA lived with their parents (57.9%) than in any other CMA. The national average was 43.5%.

For the complete breakdown please see:
http://www12.statcan.ca/english/census06/analysis/famhouse/index.cfm

All I can say is how sad that the family unit has changed so much especially with the category of no children.

Cannibalism and starvation

Keith and I were watching a documentary last night called Alive in the Andes about a small plane holding 40 odd passengers crashed in the Andes mountain. They had hit some major turbulence and so had veered off course. They went to go in between 2 peaks but a gust of wind hit them and took a wing off and it went downhill from there. Because they were off course they gave the wrong area in their mayday message.

Short end of the story, many of the passengers that had managed to survive died in the next month due to dehydration, hypothermia and starvation. At one point one of the survivors tells the others that they need protein and the only way they could do this was to eat the passengers that had already died. Most of the passengers had been a soccer team that had been going from home to another country to play a game so these were their team mates and parents for some they were talking about. Most said no way they could not do it but one by one they did.

2 of the passengers decided to try and climb to the top of the peaks where they were and figured they would hit the valley and civilization. But what they thought as being Chile on the other side was actually the entire Andes range and they had to cross that to get to Argentina. It was a long journey and they had taken body parts with them of the dead passengers to sustain them through the journey. They did eventually get rescued but the thought that they had eaten their mates and family members were hard to deal with when they returned to civilization.

Keith and I discussed this at length after the movie wondering if we would or would not. It is easy to say NO WAY we would NEVER do this when we are in the comfort of our living room eating snacks. Keith kept saying he would find other food.. I kept saying but hypothetically if there were no other food around like where these people were, would you. I told him I would not. If it was just him and I and he died I would not. He said I would expect you to to continue on for our family. I said if you died I would have no purpose in living so what would be the point of eating you? It ended up in a stalemate but it made me think what would others do? As Christians would circumstances be different and it would be ok? I mean they are dead already so it is not like we committed murder. I tried finding information on it this morning but haven't been able to. I have found very strong evidence though that people will say either a strong yes they would or a strong no they would not.. I haven't found too many that are sitting on the fence.

Being 50 ish

I was watching a rerun of Oprah the other day and I am glad I did. I don't normally watch daytime story shows like them but I had been flipping channels and she came on. She was doing a show on women who are past 50, these are women who are powerful in their own right. So I decided instead of concentrating that I was now over a half of a century old I would find positive things about being the age I am. And who knows... maybe someone or more then one person that reads this will say hey yea I can DO that. So here goes... what I learn by the time I hit Fiftyish:

1. I finally figure out how to be a parent and my children are adults and moved away from home.. COME HOME!! I finally know how to do this

2. That it is more important to sit on the floor playing with a grandchild then it is to be washing floors.

3. I can wear a purple dress with large red cabbage roses on it. Not that I ever would but if I wanted to I could

4. I don't have to follow the latest fashion craze

5. I can now blame all my screw ups and mistakes on senior DUH moments.

6. My parents were right when they said "Stay in school"

7. Families ARE THE MOST important thing in your life

8. That although I have to pick my battles I do not have to win each war

9. That I can and do stand up for what I believe instead of listening to someone saying "that's the way it's always been done"

10. That I can say no when I am asked something and then not feel guilty afterwards,. (Seems like I still have work to do on this one ;)

11. That's it's ok to have your dessert before you have your meal.

12. That if I don't cross everything on my to do list it is ok it will all be there for me tomorrow.

13. That I am more in tuned with my inner Spirit then at any other time in my life.

14. That it is good to cry in front of people. And although I know this in my head my heart is a lot slower in heeding that call but I am working on it.

15. That who cares if hubby and I stay in jammies all day long on his days off and we just watch movies and tv shows on tapes we made of our family since day 1.

There are more but I am still working on that.

History... to do or not to do

As most of you that read this know, I am passionate about family history. Well at least passionate about mine.. not so excited about John Doe’s. I was looking up something in one of my grandparent’s history book the other week and realized that although the book was less then 10 years old, so much information had changed. People had married, died, given birth, moved etc.

A thought has been niggling at my brain cells for some time now but I kept piling other stuff on top of it pretending like it wasn't existing. But just as I never stop talking in real time, my brain never shuts up either even when I am sleeping so this thought just kept cropping up and getting stronger. I gave myself excuses after excuses most of which began with "I do NOT have any more spare time" but that has never stopped me in the past..

After looking through the book I knew in my heart of hearts what I needed to do. I needed to write a new history book of my father's line. I have done so much genealogy on both of my parents’ side I am knee deep most days. It isn't that I want to do this book to toot my own horn... it's because of something my paternal grandmother told me before she died. Her greatest concern was that our family would stop getting together after she was gone. She knew we would all be busy with our lives, jobs, children, and for some of us grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She knew that the only time we would get together if at all would be at funerals and weddings.

My mom told me once when I was whining about why we had to be poor and why people made fun of us when we were growing up, that all you really have in life is your name and your family. She also told us to never do anything that would put tarnish on our family name.

I value my heritage. I work hard at keeping traditions that belong to our family. The first thing that attracted me to my church was the focus on families. I was hooked. Now with 12 grandchildren “attached” to my hip I tell them stories about their ancestors. I know that when I am gone they will have stacks of journals to keep them occupied reading about the good old days.

Genealogy isn’t just about pedigree charts. It’s about writing in journals, it’s about telling others of the stories that you were told. It is about asking questions and questions and then some more questions. It’s about never assuming “it’s already all been done”. That is why I NEED to do this book. I need to make sure that I make my grandmother proud. I need for them to know I had been listening to their stories. I especially need my descendants to always know who they are. After all you can’t know where you are going if you don’t know where you’re from.

If I knew then...

·If I knew then what I know now: I would have paid more attention to the stories that my grandparents told me and taken more of an interest in the scrapbooks and photo albums when we looked through them. Now my grandparents are gone (for the past 20+ years) and no one knows what happened to the Family Bible or the scrapbooks. Luckily I do remember some of the things my grandparents told me and some of those things have helped me to unlock a few mysteries.

·If I knew then what I know now I would have added every bit of documentation to the notes/sources area of my genealogy as I put it in. It is so much harder to find it again and add it now than if I had added it as I found it.

·If I knew then what I know now I'd ask better questions of the living and not assume it would all be obvious later. I did interview my grandfather a couple of times and got it on tape. But it never occurred to me that I would have so much difficulty figuring out how his "Aunt Delia" was related to him. There are numerous things I have run across that I naively assumed would be clear when organized together, but many connections still elude me as I try to piece together the puzzle of family relations. The right questions asked of my grandfather would have helped immensely since with his death I have yet to find anyone else still alive who knows the answers.

·If I knew then what I know now where my great-grandparents had come from in Quebec, when I was there for my work a few years ago, I could have probably walked where they walked and met some cousins and seen what they had seen. I am in awe of the things they must have gone through to get to this country and start a new life, leaving behind their familiar life and family members. I don't believe I could have done that! And to think the majority of people today couldn't care less about their ancestors!

·If I knew then what I know now, I would have visited all the cemeteries in every town I ever lived in, and would have taken the time to record in a note book, the names of all the family members, and when they were born, and when they died.

·If I knew then what I know now, that one of our sons would move away, I would have made it a point to give him a written account of our family and my birth-family. I think I would have written him a book of "Mother's Advice" that could have prevented him from making any mistakes after leaving home.

·If I knew then what I know now I would have saved years of research. I was told by my mother, my aunts, the whole family, that my maternal grandmother’s maternal grandmother was Marie Louise Cloure who lived and died in Quebec. After years of looking for that name and checking census, birth records and marriage license I came across the name in Burlington Vermont. After much searching I finally received her birth, marriage and death certificates. Although she lived in Quebec, all her info was American. There big as life, Memere was Marie Louise Cloure born not in Vercheres Quebec but in Burlington Vermont. I could have saved years of frustration, but I'm now on the right track...I would still like to know how the family had pictures of her at 106 years old when she died of smallpox in her early 20’s. Maybe some day. Oh those elusive kin of mine.

Forgive and Forget

I spent the entire morning the other day with the only other person that knows me other then Keith, talking about how easily it is for us to say I forgive you for a wrong doing. But part of the forgiveness process involves forgetting the incident totally. We talked about something that happened in my life that took my breath away. I have always been capable in forgiving people who had wronged me in whatever way and then moved on with my life. But a wrong was done to me But this has left me in a stew pot for 2 months now. As a practicing Christian I was taught the Golden Rule, do the right thing, and forgive and forget. And one of us would say but I forgave them last time and then did it again and mom would say you have to do it 70 times 70 as Christ told us.

And now being a Latter Day Saint being able to forgive and forget needs to be done or you do not go to the temple. You can not go in their with a grudge or bad thoughts in your mind heart or soul. I am 51 years old and this is the first time I have not forgiven and it will be a long time before I can forget. So what do I do?It is not something that I can fixed; I am just very hurt. My friend and I talked for hours that morning saying how people seem to say those two words "I forgive you" but then then bring it up at every disagreement or when they want to drive a point across.

To me I have always had both of them together I forgive and I forget and I move on with my life. And that was the reason why the call with my friend. After a few hours yakking we really had not accomplished more of anything else. I won't be able to go to the temple now till I get that sorted out. And that is going to hurt. I could just go anyway but seeing as they do ask the patrons there if anyone has any bad feelings towards the others you may want to step away, I have such a gullible face they would seek me out with a missile let me tell you,

Then we talked about how I had forgiven this person on his death bed and I had told him that and I told him how hard it had been to live with that kind of garbage but I told him I loved him and all was forgotten. He said I know and in a split second had a stroke and never regained consciousness. So if I already forgive for the things that happened in our youth then does that count for the new stuff I just got knowledge of? I don't know what to do. It is all I can think of all summer and it is filling me with feelings that had long been buried, Some that had been forgotten for many decades. Only now they are all resurfacing at the same time and it is sensory overload. I do not know what to do. How do you forgive someone that is dead?

Perfect Tan

As I was putting my flip flops on this morning to go out, I realized just how tanned my feet were compared to the white lines of the sandals. Then I noticed just how white the rest of my legs were past my calves.. of course that led to checking out my arms and neck and thought OH MY GOSH I have the ultimate farmer's tan!!! The kind that I used to laugh at and make fun of in my idiot youth years and swore up and down I would never have ONE of those tans....

Goes to show you what thought thought of that thought huh? It has been just so rainy here since spring who wants to wear shorts out yet I so hate to wear shoes so I would just wear my flip flops. I guess I never got sunscreen on my feet. I never suntan. Ever. Not that I can't I just choose not to. I never leave the house even in the middle of winter without at least a SPF 30 on my face, neck and arms. No thanks.. too much cancer in my family to bake and fry. But looking at my arms and feet I guess I have to come up with an alternate plan next year hehehe

Steak and Potatoes

I got this off our son Kim's site :)
1. If I looked in your trunk, what would I find?
I have a Jeep so don't have a trunk

2. Do you go to the bathroom with the door open or closed?
Open if there are no males here.

3. Are your underwear and socks folded in your drawers, or just thrown in?
Folded.

4. Sleep on your back or stomach?
sides

5. Are you a cuddler?
Yes

6. What would I find if I looked under your bed?
My side? A honking big black flashlight to fight off the boogeyman. On Keith's side? His slippers and whatever toy he was playing with the cat before he went to sleep

7. Something that happened today that has made you mad?
I was not mad today.

8. What were you doing before this survey?
Watched Celebrity Fit Club.. I will be sooooo happy when real shows come on tv next month

9. What will you do after this survey?
hmmm clean my office if I get my 2nd wind

10. Marriage or living together?
Marriage

11. What are you wearing right now?
pink jammies and kiddie pink socks that have those non slip thingies on the bottom as we all know I do tend to slip and slide into things

12. How many times have you been in love?
twice

13. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
Only talk about them with 2 people in my life.. the rest of the world sees a happy face :)

14. Someone that has died that you want to see in Heaven?
my Mom's dad

15. Is there something you regret and wish you could take back?
yup

16. First thing you do when you wake up?
hit the snooze button

17. Last person you told you love them?
Keith

18. Kiss with your eyes open or closed?
Depends.

19. Bite or Lick?
depends on what is in front of me with the choice

20. Last argument you got into?
hmmm can't remember the last time I got into an actual arguments. I get into disagreements a lot but I just keep giving the other person more information till they end up agreeing with me :)

21. Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
No why would I do that? then I would have to clean it up

22. If the mob was after you, what would you do?
why would they be after me?

23. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep?
When I "shut it off" no I get up, but if I hit the snooze button I do sometimes go back to sleep. And actually I turn off my alarm clock Kim I don't shut it off :)

24. If you were given the chance to take care of a monkey for a weekend, would you?
No ewww gross I saw one pick it's butt on tv the other day then smelt his finger!

25. What is the current advertisement on the side of the screen?
None, thankfully

26. What are you looking forward to in the next few weeks?
my wedding anniversary

27. When will you turn 50?
been there done that last summer

28. If you were being chased by an alligator, what would you do?
same answer as the mob one.. why would I be chased by an alligator? I live in BC

29. How many pillows are on your bed?
only 7

30. What song are you currently listening to?
before I started this, the theme song to CSI NY

31. Have you ever passed out from drinking?
nope

32. If you caught a significant other cheating on you what would you do?
forgive and forget?

33. What time did you wake up this morning?
5 when Keith woke up and asked me if I had made his lunch

35. Can you imagine yourself living in a cardboard box?
no!!

36. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Keith

37. What is the WORST subject they teach in school?
when I was in school it wax Catechism..

38. Where do you plan on living when you retire?
right here.. unless I can convince all my kids to move to Fort Langley with me :)

39. What was your dream this morning?
which one? The one that was most vivid was that I was living with Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed

40. How many times have you seen your favourite movie?
too many to even begin to count

41. Where was the last place you travelled?
Nanaimo

42. How was your past weekend?
it was good.. finished with my camping

43. What is your favourite song?
Remember When by Alan Jackson

44. If puppies stayed small forever, would you buy one?
yes cause puppies are sooooo cute.

45. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Vanilla

46. Do you think you are attractive?
hmmm not really although Keith says I am but as my hubby he's the designator agreerer

47. Is someone on your mind right now?
yup my mom cause she is under a lot of stress and I was going to call her but when I got to the phone I forgot who I was going to call so decided to check my mail then saw this survey then remembered just as I read this question but now it's too late with the time difference

48. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Yes.

49. Do you worry about how you look?
No.

50. Would you ever change for a boy/girl?
I used to in my youthful idiot years

51. Pro-life or Pro-choice?
Both.

52. Have you ever been on stage?
Many times

53. Can you whistle?
Yes

54. Would you do anything for that special someone?
well I wouldn't kill for them so I guess that would be a no

55. Do you know who Stewie Griffeth is?
no even after reading Kim's answer of the Family Guy I still don't know who/what that is

56. Do you have any plans for today?
just crash

57. Are you friends with guys or girls?
Yes.

58. Why?
because I live in a world made up with guys and girls DUH

59. Have you ever thought a friend could be more than a friend?
Yes and I kept giving him more information till he agreed with me :)

60. Do you like the beach?
Yes, and what are you saying Kim? That we don't have bathing suits out here?"

61. What colour is your toothbrush?
blue and white

62. What makes you laugh?
Keith

63. Are you ticklish?
yes but very few people know where and we are going to keep it that way.

Your turn :)

Good Morning to me

Well I am having a great start to my day. My alarm goes off and I rolled over to turn it off not realizing I was laying EXACTLY on the edge of the bed and I rolled onto the floor. My left hip hit the cedar chest and my head hit the book shelf. Wonderful. I decided I was still tired so I would take the bus to work rather then walking meaning I could change the alarm to sleep an extra 45 minutes. Great. Then it goes off again and I look at the time falling out of bed once again when I saw it was 9:30!! I am supposed to be at work at 9:45 and have missed my bus. I am flying around the house trying to get ready when I notice the digital machine showing just past 8:30. I checked all the other clocks and they all say the same 8:30ish. I go back to the bedroom and figured when I changed the alarm time to wake up I must have also changed the time. Hey I was more then half asleep. As I went to get changed I noticed a hard "lump" stuck to my stomach and the inside of my clothes. I thought what the heck?? So I lifted up my top to find a kids half eaten sucker stuck on me. What the heck is that doing there?????

I hate rushing like that. I trip over things, run into things and I don't give my muscles enough time to wake up properly and stretching. Oh well... now that my adrenaline rush is over I guess I can calmly walk to work now. Happy Morning to Me!!

Back Home

Well it's the last week of the summer (where it went is beyond me) and I sit and think about what I have accomplished. I had several building projects I wanted to do as well as refinish my dining room table but never got around to it. Things just seemed to get in the way. We did manage a week of camping and did spend a week with our one son and his family from Lethbridge but even that went by so fast.

I must be getting old. I remember my mother talking with her mom and sisters saying the older they got the faster time flew by. At the time when all I could think of was to leave home, I thought time was going by TOO slowly. Now I understand. On Saturday I realized that it was 4 months exactly till Christmas. Are you kidding me????

It hasn't totally been a wasted summer though. I have started a family history web site (still under construction though) and am working on my online store business. I have been putting pictures in groups for some scrapbook albums and that is always a time consuming task. I also sewed a dress for one of my granddaughters. She was a flower girl for her uncle's wedding.

I also have been bike riding. Although people that say you never forget how to ride a bike no matter how long it has been don't tell you that you may not forget HOW to do it but you DO forget how jelly like your legs become when you try and get off. I am also almost done with my first novel.. a little more then 3/4 done I think so all in all I guess it hasn't been a completely wasted summer although I did want to accomplish more with my time.

The picture of the tomato plate (thanks Kim) are of my last tomatoes from my one plant pot, and fresh basil that I grew from scratch this spring. I added fresh bocconcini cheese from an Italian deli and it tasted like heaven... yummy.. although Keith did look at it and turned up his nose. There is no accounting for taste.

The other picture is of our grandchildren from Alberta. It was taken just before they left for the wedding. The blue dress is the one I made. Well that is it I think for today. Same old same old different day. But on a good ending note.. it is almost NO RERUNS season coming.. yea!!!! All new shows on tv. I hate reruns!

IT'S HERE!! IT'S HERE!!!

I opened up my front door last night and I got so excited! The Sears Wishbook was on my doorstep! WOOOHOO!.. I still turn into a kid when I get it.. have to sit down and go through every single page slowly to absorb everything in it. It's like Christmas shopping without all the crowds etc. Happy day!

Letter to Normals

Hello Family, Friends, and Anyone Wishing to Know Me,

Allow me to begin by thanking you for taking the time out of your day to spend some time with me and get to know me better. A person’s time is their most valuable asset and yours is appreciated.

I want to talk to you about Fibromyalgia (FM) and Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS). Many have never heard of these conditions and for those who have, many are misinformed. And because of this judgments are made that may not be correct… So I ask you to keep an open mind as I try to explain who I am and how FM/MPS has assaulted not only my life but those whom I love as well.

You see, I suffer from a disease that you cannot see; a disease that there is no cure for and that keeps the medical community baffled at how to treat and battle this demon, who’s attacks are relentless. My pain works silently, stealing my joy and replacing it with tears. On the outside we look alike you and I; you wont see my scars as you would a person who, say, had suffered a car accident. You wont see my pain in the way you would a person undergoing chemo for cancer; however, my pain is just as real and just as debilitating. And in many ways my pain may be more destructive because people can’t see it and do not understand....

Please don’t get angry at my seemingly lack of interest in doing things; I punish myself enough I assure you. My tears are shed many times when no one is around. My embarrassment is covered by a joke or laughter, but inside I want to die....

Most of my "friends" are gone; even members of my own family have abandoned me. I have been accused of "playing games" for another’s sympathy. I have been called unreliable because I am forced to cancel plans I made at the last minute because the burning and pain in my legs or arms is so intense I cannot put my clothes on and I am left in my tears as I miss out on yet another activity I used to love and once participated in with enthusiasm.

I feel like a child at times... Just the other day I put the sour cream I bought at the store in the pantry, on the shelf, instead of in the refrigerator; by the time I noticed it, it had spoiled. When I talk to people, many times I lose my train of thought in mid sentence or forget the simplest word needed to explain or describe something. Please try to understand how it feels to have another go behind me in my home to make sure the stove is off after I cook an occasional meal. Please try to understand how it feels to “lose” the laundry, only to find it in the stove instead of the dryer. As I try to maintain my dignity the Demon assaults me at every turn. Please try to understand….

Sleep, when I do get some, is restless and I wake often because of the pain the sheets have on my legs or because I twitch uncontrollably. I walk through many of my days in a daze with the Fibro-fog laughing at me as I stumble and grasp for clarity.

And just because I can do a thing one day, that doesn’t mean I will be able to do the same thing the next day or next week. I may be able to take that walk after dinner on a warm July evening; the next day or even the in the next hour I may not be able to walk to the fridge to get a cold drink because my muscles have begun to cramp and lock up or spasm uncontrollably. And there are those who say “but you did that yesterday!” “What is your problem today?” The hurt I experience at those words scars me so deeply that I have let my family down again; and still they don’t understand….

On a brighter side I want you to know that I still have my sense of humor. If you take the time to spend with me you will see that. I love to tell that joke to make another’s face light up and smile at my wit. I love my kids and grandbabies and shine when they give me my hugs or ask me to fix their favorite toy. I am fun to be with if you will spend the time with me on my own playing field; is this too much to ask? I love you and want nothing more than to be a part of your life. And I have found that I can be a strong friend in many ways. Do you have a dream? I am your friend, your supporter and many times I will be the one to do the research for your latest project; many times I will be your biggest fan and the world will know how proud I am at your accomplishments and how honored I am to have you in my life.

So you see, you and I are not that much different. I too have hopes, dreams, goals… and this demon…. Do you have an unseen demon that assaults you and no one else can see? Have you had to fight a fight that crushes you and brings you to your knees? I will be by your side, win or lose, I promise you that; I will be there in ways that I can. I will give all I can as I can, I promise you that. But I have to do this thing my way. Please understand that I am in such a fight myself and I know that I have little hope of a cure or effective treatments, at least right now. Please understand….

Thank you for spending your time with me today. I hope we can work through this thing, you and I. Please understand that I am just like you… Please understand….